16 Of The Most Ridiculous Clickbait Headlines

16 Of The Most Ridiculous Clickbait Headlines

You know you'll fall for them.
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If you scroll down your Facebook wall or your Twitter feed right now, I can guarantee that you will come across an article, a listicle, or a think piece at least once. Accompanied by an alluring photo or drawing, there is probably a headline ready to assault you with phrases like “you literally”, “you have to”, “you need to,” "you won't believe", “life changing”, etc. I bet there is a number thrown in the title, too (How else would I have gotten your attention?).

I used to ignore such exaggerated clickbait because I always thought the links would lead to malicious computer viruses. However, after seeing friends and the people I follow constantly share such content, I realized these articles are seriously written by real people. With this proper knowledge now instilled in me, I still ignore clickbait articles. Yet, I often come across headlines that I cannot help but whisper to myself, “WTF.”

For your entertainment, I have gathered 16 of my favorite, most ridiculous clickbait headlines. I even continued on to read these articles until I had enough of the nonsense, which did not take very long.

1. “A Man Sent His Girlfriend Bags Of Flour After She Hinted She Would Like Him To Send Her Flowers”

This ridiculous title also doubles as the story, so no need to continue reading.

2. “46 Life-Changing Style Tips Every Woman Should Know”

“Keep it simple” comes directly after “Go ahead, get weird,” and I will leave the turtlenecks in my Pre-K class pictures, thank you very much, #13.

3. “10 Peanut Butter Recipes That’ll Take You To Heaven And Back”

A Reese’s peanut butter cookie dough cheese ball actually sounds repulsive.

4. "24 B&W Floral Tattoos That Will Have You In A Frenzy"

MY LIMBS ARE FLAILING IN AN UNSTOPPABLE FRENZY!

5. “A Couple Rode Into Their Wedding Reception On Unicorn Jet Skis Like Bosses”

If this was 2009, “like bosses” would’ve had me hooked. Alas, it is 2015; trends have changed.

6. “54 Simpsons Tattoos That Don’t Include The Simpsons”

I initially found this clickbait to be misleading. Turns out, the title reads as “54 The Simpsons Tattoos That Don’t Include The Simpsons,” as in tattoos that don’t include the members of the Simpson family. However, #33 is a phrase directed at Bart Simpson, so I guess the title should be “53 Tattoos That Don’t Include The Simpsons”. Other than that, this was the most entertaining listicle I came across, which says something for a person who hasn’t watched a full episode of The Simpsons in at least ten years.

7. “17 Lion Vines That Will Kill You With Cuteness”

The Vines stopped loading for me after #7, but I’m still kickin’. I have to admit, #3 was cute – but not cute enough to kill me.

8. “Can We Guess Where You Were Born Based On Random Questions?”

I don’t need to take a quiz to answer your question with a stone-cold “no”. I was born in New Jersey, not Toronto.

9. “We Need to Talk About McDonald’s Mac ‘N’ Cheese Bites”

Really? Do we really?

10. “Little Childhood Moments That Sent You Off the Deep End”

It was a summer barbeque at my cousin’s house, 1999. I had discovered ants all over my push pop I had saved for later on in that hot, sunny day. Distraught, I jumped into the deep end of the pool. My body sank to the bottom, for I was unaware of what I should do with myself after the horrifying discovery.

11. “Try Not To Cry As This Colorblind Man Sees His First Sunset in Full Color”

No no no no no no no. I see you trying to pull the sympathy card and invite me to defeat a challenge in one headline. This clickbait is so obvious I would never fall for it. I don’t need personal validation because I didn’t cry at a stranger’s touching moment. (Note: for purposes of this article, I scanned through the .gifs accompanied by commentary which were posted above the video. I did not cry.)

12. “The ‘Paper Towns’ and ‘Tangled’ Movie Posters Are Literally The Same”

This is more of an inaccurate statement rather than a lead-in to what is in the article. Again, this title doubles as the story, so no need to follow the link.

13. “If You Look Up The Word ‘Cute’ In The Dictionary, You’ll Probably See A Photo Of This Baby Wallaby”

Probably, but definitely not.

14. “This Grizzly Bear Was Caught Rolling Down A Hill Like A Little Kid”

Please see #1 and #12.

15. “Slang Terms That Will Give You Intense 90s Flashbacks”

I now remember the moment like it was yesterday. I am back at that same summer BBQ in 1999. My older cousin’s cute friend rescues me from the bottom of the deep end. He stands me up by my shoulders at the edge of the pool. As I gasp for air, he gazes deep into my eyes. Sincerely, he tells me: “Quit buggin’, butt munch,” and shoves me back into the water.

16. “Girls Bake Their Faces”

Spoiler alert: These four girls take turns slicing each other’s faces off with butcher knives and baking each face in an oven at 375°F. The results are a bit messy.


Cover Image Credit: nocamels.com

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To The Parent Who Chose Addiction

Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.

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When I was younger I resented you, I hated every ounce of you, and I used to question why God would give me a parent like you. Not now. Now I see the beauty and the blessings behind having an addict for a parent. If you're reading this, it isn't meant to hurt you, but rather to thank you.

Thank you for choosing your addiction over me.

Throughout my life, you have always chosen the addiction over my programs, my swim meets or even a simple movie night. You joke about it now or act as if I never questioned if you would wake up the next morning from your pill and alcohol-induced sleep, but I thank you for this. I thank you because I gained a relationship with God. The amount of time I spent praying for you strengthened our relationship in ways I could never explain.

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Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.

The amount of hurt and disappointment our family has gone through has brought us closer together. I have a relationship with Nanny and Pop that would never be as strong as it is today if you had been in the picture from day one. That in itself is a blessing.

Thank you for showing me how to love.

From your absence, I have learned how to love unconditionally. I want you to know that even though you weren't here, I love you most of all. No matter the amount of heartbreak, tears, and pain I've felt, you will always be my greatest love.

Thank you for making me strong.

Thank you for leaving and for showing me how to be independent. From you, I have learned that I do not need anyone else to prove to me that I am worthy of being loved. From you, I have learned that life is always hard, but you shouldn't give into the things that make you feel good for a short while, but should search for the real happiness in life.

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I have learned that the cycle of addiction is not something that will continue into my life. You have hurt me more than anyone, but through that hurt, I have pushed myself to become the best version of myself.

Thank you for choosing the addiction over me because you've made me stronger, wiser, and loving than I ever could've been before.

Cover Image Credit: http://crashingintolove.tumblr.com/post/62246881826/pieffysessanta-tumblr-com

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