Looking For These 16 Things In A Guy Could Save You From Heartbreak
Start writing a post

Looking For These 16 Things In A Guy Could Save You From Heartbreak

He should have the courage to ask you out in person.

Looking For These 16 Things In A Guy Could Save You From Heartbreak

Throughout high school, I watched as my friends went out with guys who broke their hearts. Many of them were insecure and stayed in unhealthy relationships because they felt that they did not deserve any better. They lowered their standards because they were afraid nobody else would accept them as they were and lost precious things in that process. Setting high standards for the guys I date has been one of the best decisions I have made.

For those of you who may not know how to tell if a guy will treat you right or not, here are the traits I look for that point towards someone who will treat you right:

1. Eloquence

He doesn’t need to be Shakespeare, but swearing every other word gives off the impression that he is unmotivated, gross, and frankly, kind of boring.

2. Honesty

Dishonesty leads to massive relationship problems. In reality, nobody wants a dramatic TV relationship where two people constantly lie and hide things from each other. It is painful and unhealthy.

3. Security

Everyone has a certain level of insecurity, that’s a given. However, I personally do not want a clingy guy who needs to watch my every move. Any successful relationship requires mutual trust that the other partner will remain loyal. Annoying clingy-ness can ensure disloyalty in any relationship.

4. Fun-loving

I need someone who can relax in the midst of stress and chaos. Someone who can find ways to have fun that do not include constant partying, that is.

5. Sobriety/Lucidity

There is nothing wrong with an occasional drink, but if partying and getting drunk/high is the only way he can have fun, that is a complete deal breaker. Drug abuse points toward some inner conflicts that I cannot solve and it just grosses me out.

6. Stability

We all have our issues no doubt, and I love helping people in any way possible, but working through issues is a double-sided effort. It is not my job to “fix” him just as it is not his job to “fix” me. That burden is too much for anyone else to bear, especially since nobody’s perfect.

7. Abstinence

Personally, I am waiting for marriage. Any guy who dates me must be okay with that.

8. Hard Working

Someone who knows how to work hard in school or work will know how to work hard in a relationship.

9. Christ-loving

God has to be the center of his life. Everything else falls into place after that.

10. Confidence

He must be able to stand up for what he believes in and secure in who he is. Also, he should have the courage to ask me out in person.

11. Humility

He should not be arrogant, however. It is definitely a line that most of us have a hard time balancing. If he is not at all nervous when trying to ask me out for the first time, it gives off the impression that he does not really care about pursuing me.

12. Flexibility

Life happens. Sometimes plans do not work out the way they should, but that is okay. Things have a way of working out in the end anyways.

13. Positivity

I hold this standard for friends too. Occasional complaining is fine, but if negative comments or complaints are all that come out of someone’s mouth, that person drags down the mood of everyone around them. Positivity also adds fun to a relationship.

14. Respect

Seriously. It is not that hard to respect the people around you. Any guy who disrespects authority figures, especially his parents, will not treat you with the respect you deserve. Respect yourself enough to be respected.

15. Devotion

That “on-and-off” couple cliché does not work for me. Do not get back together with a guy who cheats on you, especially if he has cheated on you multiple times. Any guy I’m with should have eyes for me only, in the romantic sense.

16. Selflessness

A guy who is good with kids, helps older people with their groceries in the parking lot, lends out notes to the kid who missed class, etc. is worth even just hanging out with. If he cares about random people that much, how much more is he going to care about you?

I completely understand that everyone (including myself) has flaws and it is impossible to be completely perfect. This is also a list of things that I aspire to be in a relationship, so the standard goes both ways. I don’t expect perfection, I just want to have someone who is willing to work through any issues that come up.

As impossible as it seems, there are so many respectful guys out there who will treat you like a queen. Lowering your standards only sets you up for frustration and more heartbreak. You just have to love yourself enough to give them a chance. You are worth so much more than your relationship status. Keep your standards high, girls!

Report this Content
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments