As anyone who has ever gotten glasses knows, there are a lot of stereotypes that come along with them. All glasses-wearers are smart. We're basically blind without them. We're somehow more "interesting" than other people. For the most part, these are no, no, and no. (Maybe not the smart one. If you literally can't see the person next to you's test, you can't really cheat.) However, there are a few things all glasses-wearers know to be true:
1. That "Which is clearer, the first option... or the second?" can sometimes be a pretty difficult question.
Part of getting a new prescription is being shown a series of two images and having this question repeated over and over. And sometimes it's like the hardest "find the difference" puzzle ever. Plus what if you make the wrong choice and end up with the wrong prescription? The stress is real.
2. Choosing new frames is exciting.
Since you wear your glasses all day, everyday, they're basically a part of your face. But a part of your face you get to choose.
3. The latest trend in eye-ware.
Just like in fashion, there are trends in glasses too. For example, right now the cat-eye shape is really in. But the 80s were a time of big hair and even bigger glasses. My mom's old glasses were so big I swear they helped her cheeks see too.
4. Glasses-wearers know their face shape.
Rounder frames look better on square faces, while square frames go best on someone with a round face. If you think it doesn't matter, think again. I used to have a friend with a pumpkin head who insisted on wearing those circle sunglasses from The Matrix... the glasses were cool, but not on him.
5. Getting a new prescription only works for about a week and a half.
At which point you feel like you're right back where you started. The picture above is actually what trying to read a road sign is like for me. And at night time? Forget it.
6. Contact lenses are not for everybody.
I know people who rock contact lenses all day everyday, and it works great for them. I know other people who could never quite get past the whole touching your eyeball on the daily thing. And then there's people like me, who are allergic to themselves and can't afford the dailies, so are sorry out of luck.
7. But it's fine, because some people look better in glasses anyway.
For example, I think my own face is very suited for glasses.
8. Wearing glasses can become your defining characteristic.
If you watched Cyberchase as a kid, you probably only remember this character as "the girl with glasses." Her name was Inez, people. Glasses are one of those characteristics that make people not bother to learn your actual name. God forbid you have curly hair too. Might as well legally change your name to "that curly haired girl with glasses" because that's all people are going to call you, anyway.
9. Always ALWAYS take your glasses off before making out with somebody.
Maybe you're a great kisser and know just the right amount of tongue and teeth to use to leave them wanting more. Doesn't matter. Pulling away looking like this will kill the mood. Not to mention, when somebody else's face dirt gets on your glasses, it DOESN'T COME OFF.
10. The lies your childhood friends told you when you got glasses.
Sure glasses are hip now, but getting glasses as a kid always comes with at least one traumatic story courtesy of other kids. When my brother got glasses, a girl in his class told him she used to wear glasses but "got better." Sorry, Meaghan, near-sightedness doesn't work that way. When I got glasses, my best friend spent 6 months convincing me not to wear them because she couldn't see a difference when she put them on so I must "not need them." I doubt my mom would have spent money on them if they weren't necessary...
11. Glasses are hip now.
Guys, I wore glasses before it was cool. Clearly near-sighted people are the true trendsetters of our generation.
12. Friends will always want to try on your glasses.
They do it to "see how blind you are."
13. The way having glasses is shown on TV is nothing like having glasses in reality.
My world gets blurrier when I take my glasses off. It doesn't go away.
14. Almost no one on TV or in the movies wears glasses.
Unless you're The Boy Who Lived, if you're in a movie, you're probably not wearing glasses. Supposedly because they're hard to film. But come on, Hollywood. We four-eyes need representation too.
15. Prescription sun glasses are a true blessing.
All you other non-contact wearing folks, trust me, you ought to invest in a pair of these. They will change your life for the better.
16. Sitting in the front of the room isn't a choice.
When I was a Freshman I had a prof tell me I was "choosing to succeed" because I had sat down in the front of the room. Nope, just trying to see the board.
Needing glasses can be annoying at times. And peoples' expectations of us are honestly ridiculous at times. But, however ridiculous, at least none of the stereotypes that come along with glasses are negative. So hold your heads high, fellow four-eyes.