1. You consult Pinterest.
There are an endless amount of links living in the terrible universe of Pinterest that make getting a haircut at look effortless and wonderful. Women with glorious, flowing locks just got instant gratification and saved themselves so much money and time!
2. You pick your poison.
Sleep deprivation. Coffee. Whiskey. No one does this without a little something.
3. You go off the grid.
Why would you consult your friends? That might make sense and one of them could talk you out of it. "Go to a salon," they'd say. "Remember that time you cut your own bangs," they'd say. "Your senior pictures are in two days," they'd say. You don't need that kind of negativity.
4. You re-consult Pinterest.
It helped you make a veggie platter that looked like a turkey last Thanksgiving. And remember those mason jar cookie mixes you made? People loved those. It can teach you anything and everything you need to know about anything and everything.
5. You watch 18 YouTube tutorials.
Pinterest led you here. God bless Pinterest.
6. You go rogue.
Who needs YouTube? Just start cutting! You are powerful. You can do it yourself. You can do anything. It doesn't matter that it's 2 a.m. and you won't even cut your dog's hair because the groomer gets it just right. You got this.
7. You don't have it.
Are 24-hour salons a thing? Please?
8. Your Pinterest search for, "Ways to correct a haircut done at home," yields no results.
Why have you forsaken me? Remember the time you taught me 13 ways to paint glass? What about all of the home workouts that will never actually sculpt my butt? What about the turkey?
9. You go underground.
Who needs a job or a college education? I need alone time with my new haircut. I need to consult my priest. I'm going to be busy. Don't call me.
10. You delete Pinterest.
You never loved me, Pinterest. I can't build a relationship on failure.
11. You return to life.
You need a job because having food, water and a shelter are important.
12. Your hair was such a wreck before that it looks good in comparison.
No one noticed that you're busted. I am a confident woman. I am in love with my new haircut. I love all the compliments I am getting today.
13. You accept that all of your friends are liars.
Mirrors are my only friends...though they are cruel.
14. You re-download Pinterest.
Pinterest search, "How to make new friends."
15. You carry yourself to the salon where you belong.
You beg for mercy.
If you're a UVA-Wise student hoping to avoid looking like a you have the same hairstylists as Hermione Granger (pre-puberty), pay a visit to one of a few tried and true local salons: HairVolution, Tracys Salon on Main and Elevate Hair Salon.
