As a die-hard fan of "Gossip Girl," I was more sad than the average fan when the show got cancelled in 2012. It was a huge part of my life through the better portions of middle and high school -- times in my life that molded who I am today. In part, it was something that made my Mondays a little bit brighter. But, more importantly, I learned lessons from the show without having to do it the hard way in real life. I learned a lot, but the following lessons are the most important.
1. If you want something, you actually have to chase it.
I know it seemed like everything that the characters achieved was handed to them, but Dan, Nate, Chuck, and even Blair completely discredit this opinion. Dan became a famous writer through his "Insider" series, Nate created "The Spectator," Chuck continued to carry on the Bass legacy with integrity, and Blair took over Waldorf Designs with her own legacy. They took risks and made sacrifices (especially Chuck and Dan) to get where they ended up.
2. Dressing up never goes out of style.
This one is kind of given. Even when they were going to school or tanning in the Hamptons, the entire cast looked fabulous. There is something to be said about always putting your best foot forward, something that has been lost with a lot of college kids today. The characters in "Gossip Girl" always looked like they could take on any crazy day with their put-together outfits. I know sometimes it is hard not to put on your favorite pair of yogas. All I’m saying is next time you’re reaching for them, think about how confident you would feel in a Waldorf-inspired OOTD.
3. A lot of people can’t be trusted.
Carter, Georgina, Vanessa, Gabriel, Jenny, Ivy, or Poppy, anyone? There were so many villains in Gossip girl that sometimes it was hard to keep track. They tend to walk into characters' lives, cause complete havoc, and then leave. I think the largest lesson with these villains was to not trust people, especially when people you love think they are questionable.
4. At the same time, you should always trust and count on your family and loved ones.
I’m not sure if there was a person who loved saying, “I told you so” more than Blair Waldorf, but it was only because she tended to see through people. Her best friend, Serena, made some of the most questionable decisions on the show, but Blair could tell when a boy was into her for all of the wrong reasons. Lily was also usually right with her daughter, especially when it came to guys who walked into Serena’s life. The people who were the most central to Serena’s life usually had her best interests in mind. Then again, the show probably wouldn’t have been half as good without some of those legendary mistakes. I still call my mom for advice on issues that I could handle on my own, because I trust her opinion. When in doubt, call your mom!
5. Real friends will never force you to sparkle less just so that they can feel more comfortable.
If you are a true "Gossip Girl" fan, you should know that this is almost a direct quote from the first Season. There was always a power struggle between Serena and Blair, whether or not a fight was going on. Yet, they never allowed themselves to hold back their success just to spare the other’s jealousy. Instead, they supported each other through success and failure, pushing the other to be their best possible self. I love it when my friends are successful; it makes me seem cooler by association. Be your friend’s biggest cheerleader, not competitor. You will both benefit more in the end.
6. Trust your gut.
Blair was so right when she questioned Gabriel’s intentions with Serena. Rufus was also very right when he questioned whether Georgina’s baby was Dan’s. Lily called Dan to come to the Debutant Ball, even when she probably didn’t want to. I can’t even imagine how different the show would have been if these characters hadn’t followed their hearts and said or did things that weren’t expected of them. They made the right decisions even if they weren’t the easiest things to do, because there was something inside of them that told them that something wasn’t right. I know that I regret not acting on my instincts more than when I actually do.
7. The best way to deal with boy problems is through shopping and your best friends.
This one also kind of goes without explanation. How many scenes were there where Blair and Serena were walking down some anonymous NYC road, talking to each other about some boy in their life? The answer is simply too many!
8. Not everyone ends up at their “Dream School,” but they end up at the place that is the best for them in the end.
I think people like Blair and Dan are perfect examples of this. You don’t always get accepted to your top choice or can afford to go there if you do. I think that the show had an incredibly real perspective on the college process, despite the fact that many of these kids had a lot of things handed to them. If Blair had gotten into Yale and Dan could have afforded to go there too, the storyline would have been much different. Yet, Blair found home at Columbia, and her minions there, in the end. Some of my friends still swear that not getting into their “Dream School” their senior year in high school was the greatest thing that has happened to them.
9. If you are meant to be with “that boy,” you will.
You should be picturing the final scene of the series right now. If you feel like something is off with your relationships, you actually aren’t alone! All of these characters struggled in the same ways, and because of their patience, ended up finding happily ever after in the end. Blair and Chuck, and Serena and Dan are probably the greatest examples in life of this golden rule. Think about all of the other relationships that went between all of these people before they ended up together. If Blair and Chuck could be together after Blair almost married a prince, and Dan and Serena could be together after Dan dated Vanessa and a movie star, I am confident in your relationships as well.
10. Remember all of the times that you thought your mom was ruining your life? Turns out she was looking out for your best interests.
Lily was kind of the poster woman of “bad mom” before we truly got to know her during the end of Season One. But, when she took time out of her wedding rehearsal to have Serena talk to Peter’s parents, she forced Serena to do something in order to help her move on. Or, how about the time that Lily didn’t want Serena to date her professor, the womanizer? That one should kind of go without explanation. Moral of the story, Lily, and your own mother, really do know best. I always knew that my mom was thinking of my best interests, but it wasn’t until I was older that I actually believed it.
11. It’s okay to do questionable things, as long as your friends are there to do them with you.
The episode “School Lies,” where the cast and fifty of their closest friends sneaked into the school pool was something that I had always wanted to do in high school. The entire event was completely illegal, but it looked like fun until its abrupt ending. My takeaway? Your friends will have your back when you get in trouble. But, more importantly, they are the adventurous ones who will join you and help you create memories of being young and crazy. As long as your friends are there, I have learned, you aren’t alone for all of the crazy adventures that life throws at you.
12. Life knows when you are lying to yourself.
Jenny tried so hard to fit in, but because that lifestyle was not who she was, it became exhausting. I know I have experienced those internal pangs of this isn’t me, or this isn’t who I really am. I appreciated this internal conflict, especially when I was growing up, because it showed me that it was okay to question my actions, and myself and to never be satisfied with “just satisfied.”
13. People will surprise you everyday -- in good and bad ways.
This was probably one of the most important things that I learned. It taught me to expect less and to be less surprised when people do something completely out of character. In the good ways, remember when Chuck told Blair that he loved her for the first time? It was like a glimpse into his soul that viewers had never seen before, and I am sure that I am not the only one who was shocked and excited when he actually said the three words and eight letters. At the same time, can you believe that Chuck actually took Jenny’s virginity or that Bart tried to kill his son? How about how **SPOILER ALERT** Dan was Gossip Girl? People are completely unpredictable, and although it was just a TV show, "Gossip Girl" showed me that sometimes the people who you think you know best are the ones who surprise you the most.
14. Even the most beautiful and privileged people have their own, very real problems.
For most of Serena’s life, her mom was absent, trying to find new husbands across the globe. Blair’s parents got divorced after her father ran away with one of her mother’s male models. Chuck thought that he was the reason that his mother was dead for most of his life, and lost his father before high school was over. Aside from their backgrounds, "Gossip Girl" spent a ton of time covering the various problems in people’s lives, regardless of how much money they had or how attractive they were. Just because a person has a lot of money or could be a supermodel doesn’t mean that their life is perfect. In fact, it is almost always the opposite. It’s important to remember that every person has their own struggles that they deal with.
15. Life usually doesn’t end up the way you wanted it to. It ends up even better.
If there hadn’t been so many mistakes, wrong turns, and mishaps in the series, there probably wouldn’t have been much there, right? I wonder if Nate ever thought that he would run for Mayor of New York, or if Chuck ever thought that he would end up married with a beautiful child named Henry. I remember being angry when Chuck and Blair would break up again, or when Serena would make some dumb choice in her life. Would the series have ended exactly the same, and would I have been as satisfied with “New York I Love you, XOXO?” Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I had gotten everything that I had whole-heartedly wanted. I probably would have cried a little less and had a little more fun, but I probably wouldn’t appreciate the great moments in my life. I still don’t have it all figured out, and by the end of "Gossip Girl," I’m pretty sure the other characters didn’t either. All I know is that the blessings in my life aren’t the ones that I had planned for; originally, they were disappointments. But in the end, they have made my life that much sweeter.
