As many of you know, being a customer service employee can be exhausting. Sure, you may like working with people, but there's no doubt that you reach your limit here and there. Ice cream scoopers are a very specialized group of customer service employees who deal with people in their most vulnerable state: when they are craving sweets. If you've ever worked in an ice cream shop, here is a list of things you've definitely heard from customers, with responses of what you probably wish you could have said.
1. "I want cookie dough."
OK, seriously? "Cookie dough" is all you're giving me? Now I have to ask you a million questions about what size, what kind of cone, what type of toppings, etc. I know you may think I read minds, but I swear I don't.
2. "Just give me the regular cone. You know, the normal one."
Well, we offer three different kinds of cones. What's normal to me may not be normal to you. Chances are I'll scoop your ice cream into a sugar cone and then you'll look at me like I have ten heads because you expected a wafer cone *sigh*
3. "Can I try the vanilla?"
Are you kidding me?! I'm not sure if this is because you've never had vanilla before or if it's because you have a very critical opinion of vanilla ice cream, but either way... I suggest you take it down a notch. Your only excuse is if you're four years old.
4. "I promise, this is my last taste."
Is it, though?
5. "Oh wait, actually, THIS is my last one."
Yeah, that's what I thought.
6. "After all of these tastes, I won't have enough room to actually order a cone of ice cream!!!"
Extra points if you and your friends all laugh at the joke you just made.
7. "Is that one good?"
Honestly, does my opinion of ice cream really matter to you? Obviously, I'm going to say I like it, because I work here and it's ice cream, so yeah, it's good. What am I supposed to say? Should I tell you that I actually find that flavor repulsive and that it sort of tastes like soap? Probably not.
8. "Which flavor's your favorite?"
Let's be honest, there's a very high chance that our taste in ice cream is completely opposite altogether. So, when I say that the peanut butter chocolate is my favorite flavor, you'll probably smile and nod politely, and then order mint chocolate chip. Awkward.
9. "Just surprise me!"
No, no, no. Please do not put your ice cream order in my hands, that's way too much pressure. Also, I'm a terrible decision maker.
10. "Do you have chocolate ice cream?"
11. "Which flavors are gluten-free, sugar-free, fat-free, and dairy-free???"
Why did you even enter this ice cream shop? Don't get me wrong, I'm sympathetic to allergies and sensitivities, but I have a feeling you're just being obnoxious.
12. "I bet your right arm gets pretty muscular, huh?"
Ha. Ha. Haven't heard that one before! Are you going to make the Popeye joke next?
13. "Could you just add some hot fudge on top of that for me?"
Listen carefully. If you ordered a kiddie size ice cream in a cup, and the ice cream fills the cup completely, where would there be room for the hot fudge? The answer is nowhere. I then have to transfer your ice cream into a larger cup that leaves room for the fudge, which easily could have been avoided if you had simply warned me of your fudge desires beforehand.
14. "It costs HOW MUCH?! I remember when a cone of ice cream was 50 cents!"
I don't make the prices. I, too, would love if an ice cream cone still cost 50 cents, but the unfortunate truth is that it does not, nor will it ever again.
15. "Oh, my gosh! I don't know how you work here and stay so thin! I would eat everything in the store!"
Oh don't worry, I DO eat everything in the store.
If you've ever said any of these things to an ice cream scooper, they probably made a joke about you to their coworker when you weren't looking. But it's okay, they immediately praised afterward as long as you tipped well. Ice cream scoopers are nice in nature, I swear. And they don't hold grudges!