15 Inappropriately Named Shots You Need To Try Before You Turn 22

15 Inappropriately Named Shots You Need To Try Before You Turn 22

Because ordering naughty named drinks is only half of the fun.
40009
views

Disclaimer: Inappropriate language and content, not recommended for anyone under the age of 18. Please drink legally and responsibly.

We all dream of finding the one, that perfect drink that epitomizes everything you stand for — the "shaken, not stirred" martini to your James Bond. However, with new drink recipes being made every day, it's hard to tell if you're a Cosmopolitan or a Manhattan kind of person. So here are 15 delicious and inappropriate shots that you can take on a few dates while you're searching for the one. Warning: Don't take these home to meet your parents.

1. Ass

One part vodka, one part creme de menthe, one part sambuca. Shaken over ice and strained into a shot glass.

Despite the name of this shot, it does not taste like ass. Sambuca is an almost licorice-tasting liquor, so don't be surprised by the strong flavor of this shot when you first take it. Despite everything, when paired with mint, Ass almost tastes like Christmas. However the best thing about this shot is that it's a great one to order if the bartender is being a dick.

"Ass."

"What did you call me?"

"Oh, I was just ordering a shot."

2. Big O

One part peppermint schnapps and one part Irish cream. Layer in a shot glass.

This shot always seems to resemble a mint milkshake to anyone who's tried it. If you've waited this long to have your first Big O, then you are an extremely patient person. However, now you can have a Big O anytime you visit your favorite bar. Or multiple. That's a skill some people have, you know.

Other variations of the Big O are the Black Orgasm (one part sloe gin, one part blue Curaçao, one part peach schnapps, one part vodka) and a Dirty Orgasm (one part triple sec, one part Galliano, one part Irish cream) because I don't know what you're into.

3. Blow Job

One part Irish cream, one part creme de banana. Layer in a shot glass and serve with whipped cream.

Blow Jobs are tricky because every bartender likes a different thing. There are multiple variations of this shot, but this is the one I most often get. Don't be surprised if your bartender makes you a slightly different one. Whatever variation you get, the most important thing to remember is that YOU CANNOT USE YOUR HANDS TO TAKE THIS SHOT because then it's just a Hand Job and that's another shot entirely.

If sweet drinks aren't your thing, but you still want a Blow Job, try the variation Aggressive Blow Job (one part grain alcohol, three parts cola).

4. Body Shot

One part vodka, one sugar packet, one lemon wedge.

This isn't really a recipe for a shot, per se. However, by the time you're 22, you really need to have taken at least one Body Shot, so it made the list anyway. This shot requires a partner. Lick your partner's neck and empty some of the sugar packet where you licked them. Place the lemon inside of their mouth, lick the sugar off their neck, take the shot, then suck the juice from the lemon.

I wouldn't recommend this being your "the one" drink (but if it is, more power to you), but it could be more of a one-night stand that you occasionally decide to call when you get too drunk.

5. Circle Jerk

One part Irish cream, one part orange juice, dash of grenadine. Layer first two, then pour a careful ring of grenadine around the edge to form a circle.

No matter how experienced a bartender is, you can always see them stifle a laugh when you look at them and say, "I want a Circle Jerk, please." It tastes oddly like an orange creamsicle. Fun thing to do at family parties, when your aunt offers you an orange creamsicle look at her and say, "Wow it tastes like a Circle Jerk." Relatives love that kind of stuff.

Not recommended to order if you're a large group of guys going out (unless you're into that sort of thing, no judgments).

6. Cunnilingus

One part Irish cream, one part peach schnapps, one part pineapple juice. Shake and strain into a shot glass. Top with whipped cream.

While ordering Cunnilingus from inside a bar sounds extremely illegal and like a surefire way to get multiple diseases, it's actually quite delicious. Be wary of ordering this drink, though. If you're a girl and a really creepy guy comes up to you at a bar and says, "I'll get you a drink, what do you want?" "Cunnilingus" is not the right answer. The reverse is true for guys. Please do not walk up to a girl and ask her if you can get her some Cunnilingus. It will end with a drink in your face.

7. Death By Sex

One part vodka, one part Southern Comfort, one part amaretto, one part sloe gin, one part triple sec, one part peach schnapps, splash of orange juice, splash of cranberry juice. Shake and strain into a shot glass.

Let's be real, Death By Sex is always the best way to go. However, don't kill your bartender by ordering this shot just for yourself. This is great shot if you have a group of friends who all want to take a shot together. Remember, if Death By Sex is done correctly, you need at least two people, so invite as many people as you want to join you in this shot. Death By Sex is a great way to meet new people.

8. G-Spot

One part Southern Comfort, one part raspberry liqueur, one part orange juice. Shake and strain into a shot glass.

Your boyfriend may not be able to find your G-Spot, but your bartender sure as hell can. And if this drink is made correctly, it really hits the spot. So for all the women out there still looking for theirs and all the men unsure if it exists or not, go ask your local bartender. They'll be happy to help.

9. Horny Southerner

One part Southern Comfort, one part melon liqueur, one part sweet and sour mix, one part lemon-lime. Shake and strain into a shot glass.

Personal anecdote: This is delicious as a drink rather than a shot. It tastes just like a Sprite with a slight kick, and goes down so smooth that, before you know it, you've had 10 and there seem to be three bartenders instead of one. It's a great shot to order if you're the stereotypical Southerner in a group of Northerners, or even the not so stereotypical Southerner. There is always that one overly drunk girl at the bar screaming, "Give me a Horny Southerner, y'all. OH MY GOD, Y'ALL ,THEY NAMED A DRINK AFTER ME." Well, actually that might only happen in South Carolina.

When ordering this shot, you must remember to put the "y'all" at the end, even if you are only addressing one person.

10. Orgies With a Cherry

One part vodka, one part peach schnapps, one part coconut cream, dash of blue Curaçao. Layer in a shot glass.

I have the utmost respect for whoever named this shot. Whoever decide that just calling this shot an orgy was not enough had to figure out what would really sell this shot and decided, "You know what every orgy needs? Cherries."

You're a strange person, but you created a damn good shot, so cheers to you. If Orgies With a Cherry is too tame for you, try the variation of this shot, Flaming Orgy (grenadine, one part creme de menthe, one part brandy, one part tequila).

11. Piece of Ass

One part amaretto, one part Southern Comfort, splash of sour mix. Shake first two and strain into a shot glass. Top with sour mix.

Who doesn't love a great Piece of Ass? In every bar, there's always that one great Piece of Ass that everyone can't stop staring at. Now this Piece of Ass can be in your hands. (This shot is not to be confused with its cousin, Ass, mentioned earlier in the list.) All I'm saying is give this Piece a chance.

12. Redheaded Slut

One part Jagermeister, one part peach schnapps, one part cranberry juice. Shake and strain into a shot glass.

There are multiple variations of this shot, but those don't matter because redheads are the best. If you have red hair, you need to order this shot today, but let's be real, you probably already have. It's probably your go-to drink. However, gentlemen, do not be that guy who buys the girl with red hair this drink, just assuming that it's her favorite drink. This will presumably end with a drink in your face.

13. Sex on Acid

One part Jaegermeister, one part melon liqueur, one part blackberry liqueur, one part pineapple juice, one part cranberry juice.

I bet everyone was expecting Sex on the Beach to be on this list. NO. Sex on the Beach is what you order when you're 16 and you just sneaked into a bar. And let's be real, Sex on the Beach is fun in theory, but way too sandy in practice. Sex on Acid is what you order when you're in college and making questionable life choices. But once again, due to all the ingredients, make this a group shot. Don't kill your bartender.

14. Slut Juice

One part vodka, one part orange juice, one part lemonade. Shake and strain into a shot glass.

Despite what this may sound like, this is not a drink to bring out the inner slut in someone.... well, maybe it is actually. (However, this is 2015, so slut shaming needs to stop). This is always a fun one to make at house parties. It's easy and simple, especially if you're still weening away from vodka-crans and moving toward real mixed drinks. Be prepared for all the disgusted looks when someone looks at you and asks, "What are you drinking?" "Slut juice."

15. Wet Dream

One part orange juice, one part Galliano, one part triple sec, one part club soda. Layer in a shot glass.

We've all had wet dreams, but I don't know how many of us have had Wet Dreams inside of a bar. Maybe about the bartender, sure, but never inside of the bar before. Now you can have Wet Dreams in most restaurants, bars and house parties. However, Wet Dreams are God's way of telling you you're not getting any so this may be a tell-tale sign to people around you as well.

All recipes are from the "Big Bad-Ass Book of Shots" by Paul Knorr.

Popular Right Now

10 Things Someone Who Grew Up In A Private School Knows

The 10 things that every private school-goer knows all too well.

21774
views

1. Uniforms

Plaid. The one thing that every private school-goer knows all too well. It was made into jumpers, skirts, shorts, scouts, hair ties, basically anything you could imagine, the school plaid was made into. You had many different options on what to wear on a normal day, but you always dreaded dress uniform day because of skirts and ballet flats. But it made waking up late for school a whole lot easier.

2. New people were a big deal

New people weren't a big thing. Maybe one or two a year to a grade, but after freshman year no one new really showed up, making the new kid a big deal.

3. You've been to school with most of your class since Kindergarten


Most of your graduating class has been together since Kindergarten, maybe even preschool, if your school has it. They've become part of your family, and you can honestly say you've grown up with your best friends.

4. You've had the same teachers over and over

Having the same teacher two or three years in a row isn't a real surprise. They know what you are capable of and push you to do your best.

5. Everyone knows everybody. Especially everyone's business.

Your graduating class doesn't exceed 150. You know everyone in your grade and most likely everyone in the high school. Because of this, gossip spreads like wildfire. So everyone knows what's going on 10 minutes after it happens.

6. Your hair color was a big deal

If it's not a natural hair color, then forget about it. No dyeing your hair hot pink or blue or you could expect a phone call to your parents saying you have to get rid of it ASAP.

7. Your school isn't like "Gossip Girl"

There is no eating off campus for lunch or casually using your cell phone in class. Teachers are more strict and you can't skip class or just walk right off of campus.

8. Sports are a big deal

Your school is the best of the best at most sports. The teams normally go to the state championships. The rest of the school that doesn't play sports attends the games to cheer on the teams.

9. Boys had to be clean-shaven, and hair had to be cut

If you came to school and your hair was not cut or your beard was not shaved, you were written up and made to go in the bathroom and shave or have the head of discipline cut your hair. Basically, if you know you're getting written up for hair, it's best just to check out and go get a hair cut.

10. Free dress days were like a fashion show

Wearing a school uniform every day can really drive you mad. That free dress day once a month is what you lived for. It was basically a fashion show for everyone, except for those upperclassmen who were over everything and just wore sweat pants.

Cover Image Credit: Authors Photos

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Excellent Advice From Unexpected Places

Who thought aliens from a silly space app could give good advice. Welcome to Walkr.

1011
views

GI recently got a pedometer app (a step tracker) called Walkr: Fitness Space Adventure. Along with tracking your steps, it unlocks planets that have little alien inhabitants. These creatures send you messages occasionally, some silly, some helpful, and everything in between. I thought I would share with you my favorites thus far. Here are my top 15 inspirational messages from aliens:

1. When you are doubting yourself...

Maddy McKeever

Zombies love you for who you are, no matter what.

2. Take care of those you love...

Maddy McKeever

No one deserves to be sad. Especially the moon who is the light of your night.

3. I love eating...

Maddy McKeever

Envy is a deadly sin, but ice cream is not. Snowmen know sometimes you need a snack.

4. There are no shortcuts in life...

Maddy McKeever

Shortcuts in life leave you shorthanded and unprepared. Be the diamond in the rough, or the pearl.

5. Eat your vegetables...

Maddy McKeever

Take care of your body and it will take care of you. And avoid space pirates.

6. Take time to take care of yourself...

Maddy McKeever

Little things for self care can make a big difference. Musical Andrew reminds you to eat and drink lots of water.

7. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes...

Maddy McKeever

Walking help you clear your head, and gives you a reason to get out of the house if you don't have a dog that wants to go to the park.

8. Where words fail, music speaks...

Maddy McKeever

Bon Jovi probably liked space. Express yourself with music, or tune out the world to take care of yourself.

9. Don't trust strangers...

Maddy McKeever

Don't take food from strangers unless it's Halloween. And don't follow them into the woods, even if they are trees.

10. School is a necessary evil...

Maddy McKeever

School may seem like torture now, but you'll be grateful you did it when you are older, even if you want to set your work on fire right now.

11. Never stop believing...

Maddy McKeever

Keep hope and imagination in your heart and you will feel young forever.

12. Sometimes it's about the journey, not the destination...

Maddy McKeever

It's not always about progress, but about the process, even if the idea of success tastes sweet.

13. Success is relative to each of us...

Maddy McKeever

Your idea of being courageous may not be the same as someone else's, but that doesn't make their any less valid a success.

14. Don't let others hold you back...

Maddy McKeever

We all want to escape to a different continent, or even a different planet sometimes. Take a moment and breathe. You've got this.

15. Don't judge a book by it's cover...

Maddy McKeever

Some people that look odd on the outside may be diamonds in the rough. But don't forget also that some people who look harmless can secretly bite.

Some of this advice may seem silly, but rooted deep in it can be found inspirational advice. You may not see it now, but when you need to hear it, that advice becomes very clear. Who knew that a ball of ghost fire or a sugar cube could give such good advice? I hope at least one of these little aliens gave you some useful inspiration today.

For other enjoyable apps to stay healthy, including Walkr, see this article.

Related Content

Facebook Comments