Disclaimer: Inappropriate language and content, not recommended for anyone under the age of 18. Please drink legally and responsibly.
We all dream of finding the one, that perfect drink that epitomizes everything you stand for — the "shaken, not stirred" martini to your James Bond. However, with new drink recipes being made every day, it's hard to tell if you're a Cosmopolitan or a Manhattan kind of person. So here are 15 delicious and inappropriate shots that you can take on a few dates while you're searching for the one. Warning: Don't take these home to meet your parents.
One part vodka, one part creme de menthe, one part sambuca. Shaken over ice and strained into a shot glass.
Despite the name of this shot, it does not taste like ass. Sambuca is an almost licorice-tasting liquor, so don't be surprised by the strong flavor of this shot when you first take it. Despite everything, when paired with mint, Ass almost tastes like Christmas. However the best thing about this shot is that it's a great one to order if the bartender is being a dick.
"What did you call me?"
"Oh, I was just ordering a shot."
2. Big O
One part peppermint schnapps and one part Irish cream. Layer in a shot glass.
This shot always seems to resemble a mint milkshake to anyone who's tried it. If you've waited this long to have your first Big O, then you are an extremely patient person. However, now you can have a Big O anytime you visit your favorite bar. Or multiple. That's a skill some people have, you know.
Other variations of the Big O are the Black Orgasm (one part sloe gin, one part blue Curaçao, one part peach schnapps, one part vodka) and a Dirty Orgasm (one part triple sec, one part Galliano, one part Irish cream) because I don't know what you're into.
3. Blow Job
One part Irish cream, one part creme de banana. Layer in a shot glass and serve with whipped cream.
Blow Jobs are tricky because every bartender likes a different thing. There are multiple variations of this shot, but this is the one I most often get. Don't be surprised if your bartender makes you a slightly different one. Whatever variation you get, the most important thing to remember is that YOU CANNOT USE YOUR HANDS TO TAKE THIS SHOT because then it's just a Hand Job and that's another shot entirely.
If sweet drinks aren't your thing, but you still want a Blow Job, try the variation Aggressive Blow Job (one part grain alcohol, three parts cola).
4. Body Shot
One part vodka, one sugar packet, one lemon wedge.
This isn't really a recipe for a shot, per se. However, by the time you're 22, you really need to have taken at least one Body Shot, so it made the list anyway. This shot requires a partner. Lick your partner's neck and empty some of the sugar packet where you licked them. Place the lemon inside of their mouth, lick the sugar off their neck, take the shot, then suck the juice from the lemon.
I wouldn't recommend this being your "the one" drink (but if it is, more power to you), but it could be more of a one-night stand that you occasionally decide to call when you get too drunk.
5. Circle Jerk
One part Irish cream, one part orange juice, dash of grenadine. Layer first two, then pour a careful ring of grenadine around the edge to form a circle.
No matter how experienced a bartender is, you can always see them stifle a laugh when you look at them and say, "I want a Circle Jerk, please." It tastes oddly like an orange creamsicle. Fun thing to do at family parties, when your aunt offers you an orange creamsicle look at her and say, "Wow it tastes like a Circle Jerk." Relatives love that kind of stuff.
Not recommended to order if you're a large group of guys going out (unless you're into that sort of thing, no judgments).
One part Irish cream, one part peach schnapps, one part pineapple juice. Shake and strain into a shot glass. Top with whipped cream.
While ordering Cunnilingus from inside a bar sounds extremely illegal and like a surefire way to get multiple diseases, it's actually quite delicious. Be wary of ordering this drink, though. If you're a girl and a really creepy guy comes up to you at a bar and says, "I'll get you a drink, what do you want?" "Cunnilingus" is not the right answer. The reverse is true for guys. Please do not walk up to a girl and ask her if you can get her some Cunnilingus. It will end with a drink in your face.
7. Death By Sex
One part vodka, one part Southern Comfort, one part amaretto, one part sloe gin, one part triple sec, one part peach schnapps, splash of orange juice, splash of cranberry juice. Shake and strain into a shot glass.
Let's be real, Death By Sex is always the best way to go. However, don't kill your bartender by ordering this shot just for yourself. This is great shot if you have a group of friends who all want to take a shot together. Remember, if Death By Sex is done correctly, you need at least two people, so invite as many people as you want to join you in this shot. Death By Sex is a great way to meet new people.
One part Southern Comfort, one part raspberry liqueur, one part orange juice. Shake and strain into a shot glass.
Your boyfriend may not be able to find your G-Spot, but your bartender sure as hell can. And if this drink is made correctly, it really hits the spot. So for all the women out there still looking for theirs and all the men unsure if it exists or not, go ask your local bartender. They'll be happy to help.
9. Horny Southerner
One part Southern Comfort, one part melon liqueur, one part sweet and sour mix, one part lemon-lime. Shake and strain into a shot glass.
Personal anecdote: This is delicious as a drink rather than a shot. It tastes just like a Sprite with a slight kick, and goes down so smooth that, before you know it, you've had 10 and there seem to be three bartenders instead of one. It's a great shot to order if you're the stereotypical Southerner in a group of Northerners, or even the not so stereotypical Southerner. There is always that one overly drunk girl at the bar screaming, "Give me a Horny Southerner, y'all. OH MY GOD, Y'ALL ,THEY NAMED A DRINK AFTER ME." Well, actually that might only happen in South Carolina.
When ordering this shot, you must remember to put the "y'all" at the end, even if you are only addressing one person.
10. Orgies With a Cherry
One part vodka, one part peach schnapps, one part coconut cream, dash of blue Curaçao. Layer in a shot glass.
I have the utmost respect for whoever named this shot. Whoever decide that just calling this shot an orgy was not enough had to figure out what would really sell this shot and decided, "You know what every orgy needs? Cherries."
You're a strange person, but you created a damn good shot, so cheers to you. If Orgies With a Cherry is too tame for you, try the variation of this shot, Flaming Orgy (grenadine, one part creme de menthe, one part brandy, one part tequila).
11. Piece of Ass
One part amaretto, one part Southern Comfort, splash of sour mix. Shake first two and strain into a shot glass. Top with sour mix.
Who doesn't love a great Piece of Ass? In every bar, there's always that one great Piece of Ass that everyone can't stop staring at. Now this Piece of Ass can be in your hands. (This shot is not to be confused with its cousin, Ass, mentioned earlier in the list.) All I'm saying is give this Piece a chance.
12. Redheaded Slut
One part Jagermeister, one part peach schnapps, one part cranberry juice. Shake and strain into a shot glass.
There are multiple variations of this shot, but those don't matter because redheads are the best. If you have red hair, you need to order this shot today, but let's be real, you probably already have. It's probably your go-to drink. However, gentlemen, do not be that guy who buys the girl with red hair this drink, just assuming that it's her favorite drink. This will presumably end with a drink in your face.
13. Sex on Acid
One part Jaegermeister, one part melon liqueur, one part blackberry liqueur, one part pineapple juice, one part cranberry juice.
I bet everyone was expecting Sex on the Beach to be on this list. NO. Sex on the Beach is what you order when you're 16 and you just sneaked into a bar. And let's be real, Sex on the Beach is fun in theory, but way too sandy in practice. Sex on Acid is what you order when you're in college and making questionable life choices. But once again, due to all the ingredients, make this a group shot. Don't kill your bartender.
14. Slut Juice
One part vodka, one part orange juice, one part lemonade. Shake and strain into a shot glass.
Despite what this may sound like, this is not a drink to bring out the inner slut in someone.... well, maybe it is actually. (However, this is 2015, so slut shaming needs to stop). This is always a fun one to make at house parties. It's easy and simple, especially if you're still weening away from vodka-crans and moving toward real mixed drinks. Be prepared for all the disgusted looks when someone looks at you and asks, "What are you drinking?" "Slut juice."
15. Wet Dream
One part orange juice, one part Galliano, one part triple sec, one part club soda. Layer in a shot glass.
We've all had wet dreams, but I don't know how many of us have had Wet Dreams inside of a bar. Maybe about the bartender, sure, but never inside of the bar before. Now you can have Wet Dreams in most restaurants, bars and house parties. However, Wet Dreams are God's way of telling you you're not getting any so this may be a tell-tale sign to people around you as well.
All recipes are from the "Big Bad-Ass Book of Shots" by Paul Knorr.