The college bar crowd –whever your school may be– never presents any surprises. You know exactly who you will see every time you go out. We already know guys are a real pain, but girls are a real walk in the park. You love some. You hate some too. Here are the 15 girls you will see at a college bar.
1. The ex-bae's rebound girl
2. The puke and rally girl
The girl that is drinking for a purpose. She is going shot for shot with anyone and everyone. Once she reaches her limit, she runs to the bathroom. One of her friends may run after her because it is clear what's about to happen. There are fifteen girls waiting in line to use the restroom, but her friend shoves to the front screaming, “she’s going to puke, move!” Immediately after, she feels much better and is ready to rally. Her friend throws her some gum, fixes her hair, applies more lipstick, sprays on some perfume, and she is good as new. You know this girl won’t quit before bar close.
3. The girl with Sharpies
The girl you don’t have to see to know she’s around. You will find her name written in every bar's bathroom. Her name is always written in large print, and in an easily visible location. Sometimes, their name includes a special message such as, “Call Kellie for a good time,” or, “Stephanie for president.” These girls inspire us all to get our names on the bathroom walls. If you run into them in the bathroom, I bet they have a Sharpie to share.
4. The jersey chaser
These girls follow the athletes every move. They will do whatever it takes to catch their attention, even if the athletes don’t want them around. If the basketball team is a bar, you can expect to see Jersey Chasers standing on a table twerking for a camera. They even brag about making their way around the team. To close the deal, these girls steal many athletes' clothing. Debatably, the thirstiest girls on campus.
5. The girl always crying in the bathroom
These girls always have drama in their life. They aren’t capable of handling conflict on their own, so they include their friends, and whoever surrounds them at the bars, in their fights. They often times storm off to the bathroom crying. These girls secretly hope that once they storm off someone will chase after them begging for them to stay. This tactic works the first few times, but then everyone gets sick of their problems. Their high maintenance persona is only tolerable for so long. If you meet one of these girls… I'm sorry.6. The easy girl
The girl that will go home with just about anyone. If you are wondering, she probably slept with at least three of your friends. She’s never alone, and if she is… she’s upset. If your goal is trying to take a girl home, hit her up! Take your chances, but wear a condom.
7. The Snapchat queen
The girl that you never actually see out, but you know she was because of her Snapchat Story. The story starts off by showing off what she’s wearing and who she is out with. It slowly turns into a display of every Snapchat Filter. She even turns the camera to record strangers’ reaction to the filter being used on them. Everyone is excited to be featured on her story because that’s what she is known for. The night goes on and the girl is at AJ’s. Everyone knows that she is probably blacked out because all Snapchats she takes… her tongue is out. If you physically see her at the bars, prepare to be on her Snapchat Story.
8. The girl that claims she knows the owner
The girl that doesn’t even need to show her ID when she goes to the bar. Chad, the owner, greets them with a high-five every time. Oftentimes, he stops her to tell a story. They are good buddies. These girls are the first ones to know if Ben is having a deal at the bar. Who knew that the bar has been open the last few Sundays? These girls. Who knew that the bar was named after his wife? These girls. Who gets accepted in the VIP line without a VIP card? These girls. Know these girls, and be their friend.
9. The girls who are overdressed
The girl that wears heels to a dive bar on a Monday. They are always so extra compared to everyone else. These girls only care about making it into VIP on their nights out. As they go about their night, they repeatedly ask their friends if they look okay. They spent two hours getting ready for the night and they want to make sure that they look perfect. When another girl asks them if their eyelashes are real, they reply yes; yet, their fake eyelash is hanging half on, half off.
10. The girl that loses everything
This girl… is me. I am this girl. I never carry a purse to bars which immediately sets me up for failure. Drunk me thinks that stuffing my ID, debit card, and keys into the waist of my pants is a safe place to store them for the night. Storing my possessions in my body suit – even better! These girls are all about taking risks. The nights are always great until the bars close, when the reality of losing everything hits you. These girls beg their friends to walk the vicinity with them to look for their belongings. Of course, they cannot find anything that night. So, they crash at a friend’s apartment and hope that when they wake up, everything will work itself out. As you expected, that morning, they wake up to emails from individual who found everything. Keep an eye on these girls... they need it.
11. The girl hanging with all boys
The girl that walks into the bar with ten guys. Against all odds, she isn’t hooking up with any of them. The guys are just more fun than any girl you could ever hang out with. There is never any drama with them and you almost always get free booze from them. This girl always hits up the guys for plans over her girl friends. These girls are usually the most fun to be around.
12. The newborn baby
This girl can be identified by anyone. She is the loudest of any girl in the bar. This girl is in a flashy outfit, dressed in a crown and bright pink sash. She takes a shot every other minute and drinks free all night. The best 21-year-olds end their night being driven home in the bed of a pickup truck. We love our new 21-year-olds because they want to go out every night of the week. Don’t forget to hit them up for their 21 mugs.
13. The girl always spilling her drinks
The girl that desperately needs a sippy cup – otherwise, they'll spill on themselves. They will spill at the bar. They will spill on strangers. They will spill on you. After this girl spills once, the bartenders suggest that you just keep the rag at your table for the next time she spills. Hopefully, these girls learn to not drink colorful drinks, because her clothes are always tie-dyed in the morning. Don’t stand too closely by these girls unless you want to get wet.
14. The girls willing to throw a punch
These girls are always the sweetest until you look at them the wrong way. They aren’t afraid to punch someone, especially a guy. Iowa State girls are going crazy. There have been multiple stories being told of a guy getting punched by a girl. Just last week, a girl was bumped into by another girl, and she told her friend, “Bitch, hold my hoops!” Iowa State girls are not messing around. A punch is the new slap. Watch out.
15. The girl with pierced nipples
The girl that everyone knows. The newest trend is getting your nipple(s) pierced. They always show them off, regardless of where they are. You can often see the nipple ring through their shirt. These girls are said to be the best in bed. They get wifed up quicker than you’d think.
