The beginning of a new year is a great time to look forward and focus on how we want to grow. But hindsight is always clearer than lofty resolutions; sometimes we don’t know where we need to grow until we have the benefit of retrospection.
In high school, people would talk about five-year plans as if we had any inkling of what life would be like in five years. When I was 15, I thought I had a pretty solid five-year plan (“lol at me,” right?). As it is, I could never have planned how these past five years have gone. That’s not a bad thing, but it definitely sheds light on what my 2011 New Year’s resolutions should have been.
Here are 15 things I’ve learned that I wish I could have encouraged my 15-year old self with at New Year's. These are areas of life that have become very important to me, areas in which I've grown and am growing. I think of these as encouragements more than resolutions, so I hope they encourage you into a new year as well:
1. Put others first.
Some days it will be difficult. Good, that means your pride is dying. Practice what it means to serve others, not to earn some eternal reward but as a way of life.
2. Speak up.
Speak up for the voices of the silenced. Speak up so fear doesn’t get the last word. Speak up for yourself. Your story matters; share it.
3. Be bold, but be kind.
People aren’t always going to like what you have to say. Learn to be bold in spite of your fear of rejection - but never sacrifice kindness for the sake of being heard.
4. Be open to different ways of thinking.
Yours isn’t the only world out there. Travel. Ask questions. Don’t run from things that are new. Read a lot (and not just the stuff from people who think and act like you).
5. Never stop asking questions.
Good questions are the recipe that coax truth into the light. Sometimes you won’t get answers - still, ask questions. Sometimes you won’t like the answers - still, ask questions. Sometimes, you think you already know the answer - especially, ask questions.
6. Appreciate the art in life.
Beauty shows up in unexpected places. Learning to discover it is a powerful antidote to bitterness and cynicism. Find the art everywhere you look. Spend more time searching for stories and less time avoiding 4-letter words. Please.
7. Put your talents to use.
Sorry to break it to you, bud, but your piano teacher was right. You just need to practice. If God has given you a gift, be it for music, for words, or for loving on strangers, put it to work. Dreams don’t come true while you’re asleep. Now, get out of bed and go practice.
8. Let others read your journal.
I mean this figuratively, don’t freak out. What I mean is, it’s important to trust a few people and let them into your world; not the world you construct for the public eye, but your real world. Just as you protect your journal though, guard these relationships as sacred.
9. Make time for your close friends.
In light of number eight, learn to value the most important people in your life. It’s not always going to be as easy to make time for them as it is now.
10. People change.
One more thing about friends...the people you know now are probably going to change. Let them. Don’t expect everyone you know at 15 to stay the way they were at 15 (same goes for yourself).
11. Being in love isn’t a requirement.
Please, just don’t fret about this too much. Especially not yet. You don’t need another half to be a whole person.
12. Don't "be a man..." be yourself.
Those fifth graders who thought masculinity needed their feeble attempts at protection? You won’t even remember their names, trust me. Don't let society's expectations define you.
13. Be defined by God’s relationship with you, not your relationship with God.
You’re emotional. You project your fears onto God. He’s constant. He loved first.
14. Give yourself room to struggle.
Repeat after me: doubt is not the opposite faith. Life is a journey and even the best paths are rocky. Let yourself struggle, fall, and learn.
15. Stop waiting for that “Aha!” moment and just live life.
See #14. Growth doesn’t always happen in a single moment. Cherish the little steps, the everyday moments that no one sees. Don’t wait for the clouds to part to hear from Heaven - just start walking towards it.
In the end, you'll be okay. Yeah, that means you too. Don't let fear control you. You're going to make it through 2016 like you have every other year - one day at a time, growing and failing and learning along the way. Here's to a great year!
