For the lover that takes being "all in" a little too seriously

Sure, everyone has skeletons in their closets but part of falling in love with someone is learning to accept these mistakes and love the person despite those mistakes. However, some people take it literally when they say that true love accepts all skeletons.

No, seriously. I love you with every last fiber of my being. From the small freckle on the corner of my right eyelid to the ingrown toenail of my left foot. Every. Last. Bit. Loves. You.

For the realist mathematician 

Some people ask their lover to go above and beyond for Valentine's Day and others...well, others are okay with just slightly above the bare minimum. If you find your lover is in the latter category, give cards like this one a chance.

For the classic SciFi lover

Argue all you want, but "Star Wars" will always be a classic and, as a result, will almost always have a cult following. If you happen to find yourself in the arms of a Chewbacca-loving, Han-Solo ogling chick, here's a card that might make her melt this Valentine's Day.

For the "punny" nerd

There's a fine line between a good pun and a dad joke, but that's the last thing you want to think about when you are gazing into your lover's eyes as they chuckle at the fact a card that so cleverly marries marine life and human affection.

Just don't think about it too much. Thinking ruins all humor when it comes to cheesy cards.

For the foodie that's a little too invested in the title

Bacon is great. Your significant other is great. Therefore, according to the laws of inductive reasoning, your loved one wrapped in bacon would be great, right?

If they love food as much as you do (or more), then it probably would be one of the best gifts they ever received. If they aren't as crazy about seeking out all things delicious and fattening as you are (or if they're a vegetarian), this might not be a good idea.

For the crazy vegetarian/vegan

In the event that your sweetheart would be absolutely appalled by being caught in a blanket of animal flesh, a card like this one might be better suited for your needs. After all, nothing says I love you (and animals) like sticking to a helping of fava beans and a nice chianti, hold the flesh.

Did I mention that meat is murder? According to your girlfriend, it most definitely is murder. She told me about a thousand times while I was eating my cheeseburger.

For the meme lover

In the age of the Internet, we have come to redefine our definition of the weird loner kid that has no friends because he or she is too busy laughing at jokes that nobody else gets because, you know, we all have real friends.

If you have ever been that kid (under the old definition or the new one), never fear! Weirdos like you can find company among friends. Who knows what shooting an eCard of Lionel Richie over that Reddit feed might do for your love life in 2019.

For the brutally honest and hungry

This one is a little more relatable than some of the others and, as a person that has experienced the effects of hanger way more than I care to admit, even I can appreciate this card.

Use this card to remind your lover just how much they owe you for buying them lunch the last time their blood sugar bottomed out. Sure, they berated you for every inch of the drive to McDonald's, but they thanked you after the hanger was tamed. Perhaps this card can get a return lunch, maybe somewhere nice like Wendy's.

For the sweetheart that takes "touchy-feely" to a whole new level

For every "touch-me-not" on this planet there is an equal and opposite "I'm going to rub my hands all over this".

If your lover happens to fall into the latter category (or if they fall into the former and you just want to make their skin crawl), this could be the perfect card to present them with. Bonus points if you include a homemade coupon for a free facial and scalp massage, especially if you are involved with a "touch-me-not".

For the one you found on "Farmer's Only"

If you are still searching for that sweet slice of mama's apple pie to call your darlin', fear not! Just finish sowing those tame oats and click on over to everyone's favorite website so you can sow some wild ones this year. Find you a girl that can rock a pair of Daisy Dukes and operate a tractor. You deserve it.

You don't have to be lonely this year, just put yourself out there.

For the extremely socially awkward darling

Are you a couple? Are you friends? Are you engaged? Do they even know your name? Hey, what are we? I mean,like, really what are we?

Everyone gets nervous in new relationships, especially if that relationship has just sparked around February 14th. Relax, it's normal to be nervous. Own up to it. If you're more than just a little nervous, still own up to it. Who knows, they my find it charming and you may have found your one true love.

Or they will never return another text again.

But really, what are we?

For the lazy girl

Ladies, let's be real. Shaving is a hassle and there are only a few occasions that truly require you to step up to the plate and stand in the shower, wielding a razor, and plowing through a vast forest of leg hair like Paul Bunyan. Your wedding night? Probably a good idea. Your anniversary? Probably should. The Fourth of July? Depends, will you be able see the hairs on your legs in the light of the fireworks?

Valentine's Day is probably the one day that is a no-brainer for most women.

If you are not one of those women and your boyfriend/husband is not expecting you to shave your legs, surprise him with this card that shares your surprise for him while still maintaining your quirky sense of humor.

For the S/O that is your biggest fangirl/boy

Some couples like to do everything together, I get that. Couples that get eye exams, spay and neuter their pets, and serve jury duty (despite the fact that only one was called) together stay together after all. But if you've ever thought about your significant other's habits and wondered if you're really dating Sting, then, boy, do I have a card for you!

Don't worry, it's only creepy when they start to watch you sleep (I'm looking at you, Edward Cullen).

For the awkwardly adorable couple

You know you have reached the pinnacle of self acceptance when you can admit that you are willing to accept another person's awkward ramblings, obsessions, and behaviors. Finding all of the things you love about yourself manifested in another person in entirely different ways is, perhaps, one of the greatest experiences a person can have.

This year, make sure to appreciate the charming things about your awkward, quirky significant others. Weirdos need love, too and you, my friend, are definitely a weirdo.