Disney Channel Original Movies (DCOM) are literally national treasures. DCOMs were special little snowflakes. Our childhoods would've been significantly lacking without movies like "High School Musical" and "Mom's Got a Date with a Vampire." Looking back now, one can't help but wonder: "Who actually came up with this stuff?" But the better question to ask is, who came up with some of these taglines? Seriously, I have secondhand embarrassment.

1. "Brink!"

"It takes a champ to stay in line."

I'm just trying to figure out what this one means, to be honest.

2. "Quints"

"As if life at 14 isn't twisted enough!"

Ugh, I know right? #TheStruggle

3. "Cow Belles"

"From spoiled rotten to cream of the crop."

They tried way too hard to be punny here. They failed. Totally failed.

4. "The Luck of the Irish"

"Kid today. Leprechaun tomorrow."

Seriously? That's the best they could come up with?

5. "Go Figure"

"She shoots. She scores. She accessorizes."

Pretty sure Limited Too had a graphic tee that said this.

6. "Alley Cats Strike"

"The only way to settle the score is to take it to the alley!"

This is misleading. There was no fighting in a back alley. So many puns, though. Respect.

7. "Hatching Pete"

"Cock-a-doodle-WHO???"

It's funny because it's not.

8. "Double Teamed"

"They're different from everyone else and they have jump shots to prove it."

This is the tagline equivalent of music that doesn't match.

9. "Motorcrossed"

"When Andi stepped in, an extreme sport became an extreme adventure."

10. "Zenon: Girl of the 21st Century"

"She's one galactic girl who saves the day in a stellar way!"

This needs to be thrown into a black hole.

11. "Model Behavior"

"Looks like love is out of sync."

Because Justin Timberlake is in it. Get it?

12. "Smart House"

"When the computer at home has opinions of her own!"

13. "Johnny Tsunami"

"The temperature is down...but the surf is up!"

Cowabunga, dude! Let's hit the slopes! Wait, what?

14. "The Thirteenth Year"

"Cody's not just growing up...he's growing fins!"

Someone out there, way out there, took a whole 13 seconds to think of this one.