Fraternity formals are some of the best trips of the year. These trips venture all of the place, whether it's to New Orleans, Pensacola, Tybee Island, Myrtle Beach, Gulf Shores, etc. The list goes on and on. While these trips are a great time to let loose and have fun, they require quite a bit of planning. Perhaps the most taxing part of planning a formal is the making of a cooler. Girls, this is a stressful, possibly emotional, time leading up to departure for the fun-filled beach that awaits you. I feel your pain, and I understand the different emotions that you run through during the process.
1. When you first get asked on formal, and you head off to the store to buy everything you need.
You've got your cooler, sander, primer, paint, and brushes. You're set. Nothing can stop you now.
2. You start painting, and you're feeling like a pro.
Look at how straight that line is. Wow, that bow tie turned out perfectly. Maybe I should major in cooler painting. This should be my profession.
3. You mess something up that you've been working on for three hours, and you're about to lose it.
This has got to be a joke. That one tiny smudge is ruining my entire design. I don't even know how to fix it.
4. You've got to cover it up, somehow, so you just start winging it.
Well, this has got to look better than that smudge crap I just jacked up, so here goes nothing.
5. Then that doesn't fix anything, it just looks like a sloppy blob.
This is the moment when you start to feel royally screwed.
6. Even though you were convincing yourself that you could recover before, you're admitting that you've really messed up.
There's no hiding the fact that you've done more damage than good. You've got a long way to go before figuring out how to fix this mess.
7. Your date texts to see how it's going, and you simply can't tell him that his cooler is the worst thing in the history of formal.
What you say: "Babe, it's going great. Your cooler will be the best on the beach, for sure."
What you mean: "I want to murder you for even asking me to make you this devilish thing. It's going to be the death of me. I quit."
8. Your mental breakdown officially begins, and you're absolutely losing it.
How have women of the past gotten through this? Were they robots? They were probably held captive until they finished. That's the only way they could have been forced to get through this dreadful process.
9. You just need to walk away and wind down.
Just don't even look at the cooler for at least 12 hours. Take a break, eat some food, take a nap. Don't think about it.
10. You wake up, and you feel ready to try again.
Let's go for another round. I'm up, I'm pumped, I'm ready to go. No cooler will make a fool of me. I will win this fight.
11. You crank out every side right then and there, and you're in the zone.
Nothing can stop me now. I'm determined to get this done.
12. You're finally finished.
The battle is over, and I am victorious. Take that, evil cooler.
13. You give it to your date on the night you're supposed to leave, and he tells you that he loves it.
"I knew all along that it would be the best cooler you've ever gotten. Oh, it's much better than the one you got last year from your ex? I had no idea because I didn't look up pictures of it on your Instagram. I'm so surprised!"
14. You make it to the beach, and you're feeling carefree.
"You scratched up your cooler? It's totally fine. I hardly spent time on it. I'm going in the ocean. Bye."
Peace, love, & formal.