One of my favorite tv shows of all time is "Switched at Birth." Hours and hours of controversial topics, tears, and heartfelt moments between characters. There's something for everyone in this show and I am here to tell you 13 reasons why Bay Kennish is my role model.
This American drama series details the life of Bay Kennish, who is the daughter of wealthy John and Katherine Kennish. The show also follows fellow teen Daphne Vasquez who is the daughter of Regina Vasquez, a single mother and recovering alcoholic. For those who have never seen this show before, Bay and Daphne were switched at birth. Bay discovers that her blood type does not match the blood type of either John or Katherine and she asks her mom for a DNA test. This is a complete shock and very complicated for everyone involved. However, eventually, it turns out okay - there are MANY twists and turns along the way. The news that their daughter was switched at birth prompts J & K Kennish to get to know their biological daughter (who just happens to be deaf) and vice versa. The two polar-opposite families do their best to get along, navigate the trials of the deaf versus hearing community, and raise their daughters on an even playing field.
Bay Madeline Kennish is an artist, the star of the show (in my opinion), and my inspiration for this article and in life. Bay is a smart, brave, and vibrant personality and I feel that I have learned many things by walking alongside her and Daphne as they figure out what it means to be switched at birth.
Even though we haven't all been switched at birth, there are still many things we can learn from this show and this character. We're all trying to figure out our identity in this crazy world, after all. Like Bay Kennish, we're trying to live a life of purpose, do right by our family, and make something of ourselves. Therefore, there are so many things to take away from this story. Here it are 13 things we can learn from Bay Kennish.
1. Our first love isn't always our best love.
If you don't know pain, you can't know happiness. The world isn't going to end just because your relationship does. You just haven't found that person yet, even if you thought you had. But, you'll find them... And maybe, you'll even find yourself in the process. It might be a long journey to move on, but that's okay. It's worth it. And when you do move on, you can feel whole again. Although, nobody wants to say goodbye to Bemmett; it was the right choice.
2. It's OK not to be OK
Listen, there are a million ways to deal with pain - and one of them is to face it head on. Bay always faces her emotions head on and deals with them. That's more than impressive, that's beautiful. You're supposed to be vulnerable and to let people see what is going on inside. You'll probably have a lot of pain, anger, and disappointment in your life; it is OK to not be OK. How else are you supposed to get through it? You can't expect to get better if you won't admit that something is wrong in the first place. The goal isn't to cover up your pain and hide it; the goal is to be okay with feeling it. You can find true happiness in the midst of true pain and suffering. There's just one important thing to keep telling yourself: it's ok to not be ok.
3. You don't have to have all the answers
Or do you? If there's something you don't know the answer to, don't be afraid to admit it. In fact, you'll be better off admitting you don't know than giving someone terrible advice and hurting them in the long run... If you had all the answers, you wouldn't be human. And guess what? We all are.
4. Look for the good in people
Bay is a trusting, intuitive, honest and genuine person. Some of us could learn a thing or two from her and how she relates to people. Maybe we should trust a little more. Bay doesn't sit around judging people or condemning them for mistakes they might have made. She goes out into the world and gives her friendship, love, and confidence to people over and over again. She's caring AND willing to do what she can to make your life better. If you ever want to have friends, you first have to BE a friend. You might be surprised by the good other people can do if they have someone to believe in them. Also, people can and will hurt you, it's what you do after they hurt you that matters. That's who you are. As Bay says in this scene, "Most people are trying to say the right thing."
5. Crying isn't a sign of weakness
Crying isn't a sign of weakness! Crying is a sign of vulnerability and being vulnerable is synonymous with being strong. Whatever it is that is making you cry, let it out. Show your strength.
6. Stand up for what you believe in
If you don't stand up for what you believe in, who is going to do it for you? Don't let your friends stand alone; stand with them. If you find something or someone worth fighting for, don't give up. Everything that is worth something, costs something else.
7. There is Always Two Sides to a Story
Bay used her different perspective on the world to positively impact the people around her. She used the lens through which she viewed her art to view the world and it shows. She listened to the people around her and learned from their life experiences and their stories that there is always more than one side in any given situation. Of course, that is a lesson we would all benefit from learning. Sometimes you just have to shut up and listen. If something doesn't make sense, chances are - there is more to the story. If something feels off, it probably is. You might learn something about the world around you, and even about yourself if you just stop and listen.
8. Your mom is probably the most important person in your life
Please don't take your mom for granted. Your mom can lead you, shape you, guide you, hold you, and help you become the person you need to be. I can't name every single thing that my mom did for me because we would be here all day... To think that a woman gave birth to you, raised you, clothed you, and loved you is an amazing thing. Anyone who says diamonds are a girl's best friend must not have had a mom like mine or Katherine Kennish, for that matter.
9. Ordinary people make great heroes
If you're ordinary, you can still change the world. If you start by helping someone or by making them feel noticed, that's amazing. If you have the ability to change someone's life, do it. Yes, there's always going to be someone out there who can do what you do better than you can. But, don't make excuses because of those people... Not taking ownership of your life, talents, and passions - that's dangerous. Don't lack love, care, and the ability to see other people for what they really are. Everyday heroes. I'm telling you, Bay understood. And, this brings me to my next point...
10. Family Isn't Just Blood
Family matters. Biological or not. Your family is part of you, whether you like it or not. You might as well embrace them.
11. Your Identity Doesn't Come From Other People
If you think that other people can define you, Vanessa Marano is here to tell you that you are wrong. If you're being overly critical of yourself, just stop. If you don't like who you are becoming, change. Be a better friend. Do better at whatever it is you are working on. Don't be controlled by what other people say about you. Just be yourself, and be okay with it.
12. Sometimes you will disappoint the people you love (even Dad)
Sometimes you'll make choices that are right for you, and not right for someone else. But, the people that you disappoint will eventually come around...even Dad. You'll go through hard things, but in the end, you're still a family. If that person can't see that now, they will one day. Eventually, you have to do what is best for you anyway.
13. A lot can happen in five years
This may come as a shock to some people, but life moves really quickly when we aren't looking... You might not be the person you were five years ago, and that's okay. And, if you are, maybe you have some soul-searching to do. Maybe something needs to change. Make it happen.
I would recommend this show to every person of every nationality from every background. "Switched at Birth" showed me that my perspective is smaller than I thought it was, that everything isn't black and white, and bad circumstances can have a beautiful outcome. It has its good moments, bad moments, and ugly moments, but I loved every minute of it. Keep moving forward, and don't let anyone tell you who you are. Take a lesson from Bay Kennish and figure it out for yourself.
