THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS SPOILERS
trigger warning: mentions of sexual assault, suicide, bullying
In case you haven't heard, there's a new show on Netflix stirring up all kinds of controversy. A series based on the best-selling novel by Jay Asher, "13 Reasons Why" has made waves through social media and has impacted everyone who has watched it in various ways. Some of you don't understand how people could be opposed to the story-- others, how one could not be opposed to certain aspects. There are at least thirteen reasons why we need to talk about "13 Reasons Why".
1. It's happening all around us.
At least 30,000 Americans commit suicide each year. 30,000-- compared to the (roughly) 6 Americans killed by terrorism per year. Why are we more determined to stop terrorism than suicide? Both are horrible and evil, yes, but suicide is something that happens in our neighborhoods. It's something that we need to work harder to fight against.
It's especially a problem among teenagers like "13 Reasons Why"'s Hannah Baker. According to a 2012 study, suicide is the leading cause of death among high school and college students, accounting for 26.2% of premature deaths. Why are we not talking about it more? No matter how much it's whispered about, someone needs to stand up and address that the people who are really killing our children are themselves. And how are we to stop it?
2. It's hard to watch.
Due to the heavy topics, it's not a show that binges easily. As an avid binge-watcher, even I took several days to complete the 13 episode season. The sad part is that, even though these things seem dramatic and shocking on screen, many of them happen every day and are met with shrugs or disdain. I realized that, by trying to avoid topics such as suicide, bullying, sexual assault, and grieving, I am part of the problem.
3. Donald Trump's America.
With the arrival of our new, controversial president, I have noticed that the rhetoric concerning sexual assault and feminism is strongly biased towards a more conservative perspective. Due to this, the bullying Hannah undergoes due to slut shaming (primarily by white, male characters) is even more poignant due to the times we live in, where our own President has been caught on tape confessing to sexual assault.
4. It's not as diverse as it could be.
We need to talk about the casting of this show. Yes, there is a wonderful array of diverse characters-- but the lead male and two of his three "love interests" are white as milk. This show perpetuates the stereotype of a thin, white ingenue, something that needs to be squashed in the trash. Who says that curvy girls can't act? Who says that girls of color can't play the primary love interest?
Yes, there are wonderfully well-rounded characters of Asian, African-American, and Latino origins, but the two romantic leads are white. As per usual.
5. Tony is bae.
If you've watched the show, I'm sure you love Tony almost as much as I do. Tony, while feeling guilty (and rightfully so) for Hannah's death, takes his grief and puts it to use, carrying out her dying wish as well as comforting and helping her parents in their grieving. He is a true friend to Clay, even as Clay's intentions differ from Hannah's intended plan. He wants to do right by his late friend-- and it shows.
6. Suicide on screen.
I've seen a screenshot of a Tumblr post going around that condemns the show for some of the graphic/triggering content. I agree to a certain extent, but I don't think that the inclusion of a few scenes in poor taste completely devalues the show as a whole. As someone who has dealt with suicidal friends and suicidal thoughts myself, I was triggered by a few scenes, but none of them were the ones called out by the Tumblr user. Personally, I think anything that involves death or sex should be censored, but that's more because I dislike most graphic scenes in general. I understand if those who watched were triggered by those excessively horrific scenes, but I would advise to read up on when those scenes are and how to avoid them-- because as a whole, I still feel as though this show is worth watching.
7. Clay is problematic-- but that's okay.
Let's talk about Clay Jensen for a moment. Clay, though the lead and the one audiences probably like the most, is highly problematic. He slut-shames Hannah multiple times throughout the show, and he treats her poorly for not wanting to hook up with him. Clay is part of the problem, but his goodness outweighs some of the things he's done. Of all the 12 people complicit in driving Hannah to the point of no return, Clay-- in my opinion-- is one of the most guilty ones. No, he didn't take pictures of Hannah outside her window. No, he didn't spread an explicit photo of her around school. No, he didn't spread false rumors or physically assault her. But that makes it all the worse. Throughout the course of the show, even though Clay himself states that he and Hannah aren't close, it's clear that he's probably the best friend she has. That means that when he tossed a jab aside about "waiting", it probably hurt Hannah more than the bullying. Because she trusted Clay, and he had devalued her pain.
Why is this 'okay'? It's okay because the show addresses that misogyny is prevalent even in the "good guys" like Clay. Clay feels guilty about the things he's said to Hannah, and that is also good. People who participate daily in sexist comments and judgments need to see this and understand that even if you don't mean any harm, calling a girl a "slut" (even if in not so many words) can hurt her intensely.
8. It addresses "Manic Pixie Dream Girl" syndrome.
Clay views Hannah as a girl out of his reach, and that is part of what keeps them from being together. He thinks that she's different and special and "not like other girls". Other girls think this too, and treat her poorly because of it. Clay's twisted perception of Hannah is a huge part of why he took such offense when he heard the rumors of her sexual activity. He wanted to believe that she was the pure goddess of his fantasies. He didn't want to admit that she had real problems. Zach is the same way. These two boys, though they "worship" her, are damaging her by doing so.
9. It doesn't censor the grieving of her parents.
One thing that I felt was missing from the book was a true image of the Bakers, post-Hannah. This is something that the show provides. Hannah's parents are some of the protagonists, and spend the duration of the show fighting to stop the bullying that they believe led Hannah to her death. It's heart-wrenching to see them struggling to understand why their daughter had to die and to see her mother searching for someone to blame. But it's real, and even though it's hard to watch, it's important to see.
10. Sexual assault is not ridiculed or devalued.
Hannah undergoes several horrific experiences, and as does her friend Jessica. Many of the men shake off the incidents or don't seem to care about the effect it has on the girls. The scene in the diner comes to mind. Marcus takes Hannah on a date, and, after not showing up for an hour, immediately tries to fondle her in public. The group of guys he brought with him don't seem to care about how upset Hannah seems (with the exception of Zach), nor does anyone in the restaurant. Even though it doesn't seem like a big deal to anyone else, the seemingly dumb situation is one of the reasons she ends her life.
There are multiple scenes of sexual assault, the one in the diner being a tamer one. Hannah is assaulted at least twice more, and witnessed a friend being taken advantage of. All the while, people shake it off, while it eats Hannah up inside.
11. Selena Gomez and her mother produced it.
Not really important, just cool.
12. It shows that bullying takes many forms.
Hannah (and others) are just as affected by bystanders as they are the tormentors. The words and rumors hurt just as much as the physical attacks. It serves as proof that her parents are right-- the bullying at the fictional high school is at a ridiculously high rate, with it affecting every character at least once. Bullying is something that, while discussed frequently, has never really been stopped. People don't take it seriously, but i believe that media such as "13 Reasons Why" can help show the damaging effects bullying-- in all its forms-- can have.
13. It is one of the best Netflix series.
Personally, it is my favorite Netflix original (don't attack me!) The controversial subjects, phenomenal performances by relatively unknown actors, the soundtrack, and the source material make for a concoction of raw drama. If you have yet to take a look at this show, i highly suggest it. That being said, if you know you have triggers, be sure to read up on what each episode contains.
If you or someone you love needs help, please contact the national suicide prevention hotline.
