13 Creepiest Last Words
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13 Creepiest Last Words

"Friends applaud, the comedy is over!" - Beethoven

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13 Creepiest Last Words
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People are fascinated by the last words of the dying. This is likely due to a desire to hear some last insight - especially from celebrities - before they slip away into the unknown. More than anything, last words give us one final opportunity to look into the minds of people on their deathbeds. What were their last thoughts? I compiled a list of the 13 creepiest last words just in time for Halloween!


1. Wilson Mizner - "Why should I talk to you? I've just been talking to your boss."

Mizner, a playwright, made this comment to a priest who came to speak to him right before he died. Scary to think that he was possibly communicating with a higher power just before he was taken away! Personally, I wonder what kind of conversation him and God were having. Were they chumming it up over the NFL game or having a serious Father-son discussion?


2. Emily Dickinson - "I must go, for the fog is rising."

Creepy. Just creepy. It raises some questions: what was she seeing as she died? Sounds like something straight out of "the Mist' to me.


3. Joseph Henry Green - "Stopped."

The surgeon Joseph Henry Green checked his own pulse as he lay in the hospital bed and made this matter-of-fact comment. Doesn't take a medical degree to figure this one out!


4. Nostradamus - "Tomorrow, at sunrise, I shall no longer be here."

An apothecary and supposed soothsayer, Nostradamus was famous for making predictions that would - occasionally - come true. This particular prediction was correct.


5. Thomas Edison - "It is very beautiful over there."

Again, this raises some unsettling questions: what was he looking at? The Other Side must be beautiful indeed. It probably looks like a coffee shop.


6. George Engel - "Hurrah for anarchy! This is the happiest moment of my life."

George Engel was an anarchist who helped to conspire the bombings in Haymarket Square in 1886. He made this one last exclamation before being hung for his crimes. Nothing says "anarchy" like cheering on your own execution!


7. Marie Antoinette - "Pardon me. I didn't do it on purpose."

The overthrown queen of France was led to her fate - execution by guillotine - and accidentally stepped on the foot of her executioner. Her last words were an apology to him. They were not enough to save her!


8. Dominique Bouhours - "I am about to -- or I am going to -- die; either expression is used."

As an English major, I appreciate the last words of this French grammarian.


9. Terry Kath - "Don't worry! It's not loaded."

A musician, he accidentally shot himself at a roadie's house after a show. He was playing with a 9mm pistol, even showing his nervous host that the magazine was empty. Evidently there was a bullet in the chamber, though, for Kath is no more.


10. W.C. Fields - "I'm looking for loopholes."

The story goes that he lay dying in a hospital for several weeks, found occasionally reading a Bible. When asked why, this was his witty response. I am sad to announce that he did not find any loopholes - he died in 1946.


11. Karl Marx - "Go on, get out - last words are for fools who haven't said enough."

His maid asked him for last words to record as he lay dying - and the philosopher only had this response. He did invent a new idea of government. He was probably exhausted from overthinking.

12. Ted Bundy - "I'd like you to give my love to my family and friends."

These last words struck me as particularly unnerving. Ted Bundy was the infamous serial killer who raped and killed women - at least 36 murders were attributed to him, though some people think he may have committed over 100 murders. Bundy made this solemn comment right before he was executed by electric chair. Even if he loved his friends and family, he certainly did not love other people!

13. Peter Kurten - "Tell me. After my head has been chopped off, will I still be able to hear, at least for a moment, the sound of my own blood gushing from the stump of my neck? That would be a pleasure to end all pleasures."

Called the "Vampire of Dusseldorf" - sounds like a pleasant fellow - for drinking the blood of at least one of his murder victims, Kurten was executed by the guillotine in 1931. Whether or not he got to hear his own bleeding is a mystery - but there is no mystery that he was a sadistic psychopath. You can see his dissected and mummified head on display at the Ripley's Believe It or Not museum!
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