Crime doesn't pay, and there may be a chance you're an unintentional criminal.

Texas has some pretty crazy laws on the books, which should have been updated decades ago. I'm a strong believer in things happening for a reason though, and I'm thinking the reason they've stuck around so long is to give us all a good laugh.

Texas may be home to the wild and free, but these outdated laws are nothing short of restricting. Some might even be specific enough to elicit cries about 'Merica' and 'freedom.' Others will leave you scratching your head and wondering if these lawmakers were dropped on their head as children.

Either way, sit back, relax and judge away.

1. It is illegal to sell one's eye.

There's goes the government, telling me what to do with my body again.

In all seriousness, Texas is here to remind you that any and all selling and purchasing of human organs is prohibited. Unless of course, you are repaying a debt or fee owed to a doctor or hospital.

2. It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.

All you hardcore criminals better watch out -- Texas doesn't play.

3. It is illegal to milk another person's cow.

Now what if I've secured said person's permission?

4. Criminals are required to give their victims 24-hours notice -- either written or orally -- to explain the nature of their crime.

I feel like Texas is most of us: High expectations with a lot of disappointment.

5. Before being able to hold office, a person must acknowledge a supreme being.

I mean, if fictional medieval characters from "Game of Thrones" had to be held to this standard, why shouldn't we?

6. Homosexual behavior is a misdemeanor offense.

I guess if we're being held to medieval standards, why shouldn't this make sense? Oh wait, you mean to tell me it's actually 2017? I'm so confused!

7. When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.

My guess is that the same person who thought #4 was a good idea wrote this law. Is there some kind of grand scheme to take out all forms of common sense?

8. Eating your neighbor's garbage without permission will result in jail time.

Wait, so does this include leftovers? Asking for a friend.

9. It is illegal to feather-dust any public building.

Once again, Texas has foiled my devious weekend plans. What if I were to use a rag to dust the outside of the building? Would that be illegal?

10. You are considered legally married if you say your intended's name three times in public.

Hold up, you mean to tell me I can say Logan Lerman's name three times in a row, and then **bam** we're married? Done and done.

11. You aren't allowed to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel.

It's fine, it's fine -- the third floor has a better vantage point anyway.

12. The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

I guess now would be a good time to tell my mom she's harboring illegal literature. If we really need that beer formula, I guess we can just turn to our in-home computer. There, problem solved!

13. Urinating on the streets is illegal.

I mean...

Have I missed any crazy laws you think should be on this list?