Everyone has those days where the traffic pattern is working in their favor. There is almost no one on the road, green lights all around and you get to work in less time then you thought. But every once in awhile we leave a second too late and you just cant get that green light, people are going just the speed limit and you're 5 minutes late already. You have that one person sitting behind you, riding your tail end because they cant get around you; little do they know you can't get around the other people driving miss daisy! But instead of waiting for you to turn off or the traffic pattern to change they jerk out from behind you, step on the gas, speed up beside you and whip it right on front of your car with your bumpers just barely meeting and it's on.
1. Did this B really just cut me off?
LIKE I DON'T HAVE OTHER THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT TODAY! Now I have to deal with this!
Poor car you were almost hurt.
2. Is this really how we are going to start my day Lord baby Jesus?
I'm just going to do whatever Jesus would do. Yea... WWJD?
*Madea pops in my head* "WHAT'S WRONG WITH JERMAINE DUPRI!!??" -Madea
Haha i'm funny. I should be a comedian. Hmm Madea is kind of a had to watch that joke. Whatever. You are funny.
2. They must not know who I am.
3. They better not come near me again.
*Turns up latest jams to start the morning. Head bumping.*
4. Where's that B who cut me off?
YES! I found them. Now if I could just pass them and show them how great of a driver I am.
So great you shouldn't be cutting me off.
5. I'll just pass them because we all know who's going to win thi... AHHH! Was that a cop??
No just some dumb, blacked out dodge charger. Trying to pretend we are cops eh?
6. Trying to waste my gas braking hard like that.
Gas isn't $0.25 anymore people!
7. Did they turn off? They better have turned off. I'm not playing any more games on this road.
8. Why do I have to go anywhere?! Why can't I just stay at home with my dog for the rest of my life!
I could learn how to fly if I spent enough time at home. You know... mind stuff. Wow i'm weird. How do I have any friends? Oh yea, i'm awesome!
9. Am I there yet?
I'm trying to be there like 10 minutes ago.
10. Ugh now I have to wait at this light! WHY AM I ALWAYS COMING UP TO RED LIGHTS?!
Or worse... YELLOW LIGHTS!! COME ON GIVE ME A GREEN!
Finally. It's not like I'm already late.
11. *Tries to back into parking spot.*
*3 tries later* YES! GOT IT!! Hopefully people aren't watching me.
12. I hope someone brought in some bagels I could really use some bagles.