It’s no secret that life can get difficult. We all seem to try and figure it out on our own, living by what we think fits and works the best. While that may work, for the most part, we all have a little help from various rules we’ve learned or picked up either through experiences or even from the experiences of others. These rules, or tips, certainly give us at least a little guidance on how to deal with not only the day-by-day tasks, but the big picture through this crazy thing, life. Here are the "secrets" to simplicity in life, that are often forgotten. There are 12 rules I’ve picked up on over my short 20 years of life.
1. Don't let them get to you.
Seriously, don’t. Whoever “they” might be, don’t let them change your heart; change your mind and change you. You do a lot of things for others with nothing in return? Great. Don’t let anyone’s “you let them walk all over you” ‘advice’ change that. Be kind and remain humble. Keep allowing yourself to do things for others, even without anything in return. Life’s too short to only do things for your own benefit.
2. Follow your heart, not your mind.
Believe it or not, your heart knows you best. It knows what makes you happy, what makes you feel good, and what you truly want. Your mind is selfish. Your mind thinks it knows what you want- but it’s full of the judgement of others, of logical thought and what we might call 'reason,' in other words, the product of unnecessarily over-thinking. What your heart desires is what you want most, despite logic and rationality.
3. Trust your gut.
Don’t play dumb to protect your heart or to avoid confrontation. If your gut tells you something’s up, something’s up. It might not be the worst-case scenario that your mind immediately jumps to with that gut feeling, but it’s always better to buck up and confront the situation at hand to ease your mind. This is better than to ignore that knotted, sick feeling in your stomach. Ignorance might be bliss, but it’s also the most destructive.
4. "Mother knows best."
Just like Mother Gothel sings in “Tangled,” Mother really does know best (despite how wrong Gothel was--she also wasn’t really Rapunzel’s mother). Even when you don’t want her to be, she’s most likely right. How else can she find that piece of clothing you’ve been missing for a month in under ten minutes? It might hurt to admit sometimes, but hey... not only is she always right, she’s also always there for you with knowledge and love when it comes to difficult situations.
5. If it won't matter in 3 days, don't dwell on it.
Dwelling on insignificant inconveniences is definitely a flaw of mine that I need to learn to get over. When something bothers you, the best immediate reaction is to deal with it- confront the person or situation at hand, expressing what’s on your mind. Don’t ever just hold it in- but if it won’t affect you in three days, express it and get over it. Don’t keep bringing it up and focusing on it.
6. Prioritize.
Everything is simpler when it is prioritized. It’s hard to make time and schedule your life perfectly enough to incorporate every single thing all the time. Prioritizing helps a lot. What matters most? What matters enough to spend time on, but not to stress over too much? What can you go without, but should fit in at least once in a while? Prioritizing the things in your life make your days a lot less stressful, and a lot easier to schedule when it gets busy, and you have to make sacrifices.
7. Let it go.
You want to laugh at the joke that no one else is snickering at? Laugh as loud as you need. The commercial with the father who leaves his daughter in a field, and it turns out the daughter is actually a dog... will make you emotional. If it makes tears well up in your eyes? Let them fall, that’s a sad, sad commercial. It’s 43 degrees outside with overcast skies? Wear all 5 layers even though you feel like Randy in his snow suit. Like Elsa in “Frozen,” there comes a time for us all to realize we have to just “let it go” when it comes to who we are, instead of holding it in and disguising it to please the world’s expectations. Why does the world suck? It’s full of clones with boring people who think and do the exact same thing. Don’t be another clone. Let it go. You might get funny looks bundled up or crying at a commercial, but you’ll feel a lot better in the long run than if you pretend you’re comfortable wearing only a sweater in near-freezing temperatures.
8. Question everything, further your knowledge.
Not everything is answered the first time we learn it. In reality, things are barely answered the first time we learn about it. Questioning what you know is good, despite it having a negative stigma. Don’t just accept a generic answer for anything. Ask about it, challenge the answer, the question, and question the person who gave you an answer, and the philosophy behind the answer. Allow yourself to be curious (to a point-- don’t be a modern philosopher who questions whether their hand actually exists. Don’t be that guy).
9. Love like you’ve never been hurt.
Honestly, Old Dominion’s new single “No Such Thing as a Broken Heart” is a major encouragement for this lesson. They’re right, though- if you let your broken heart shut down and hole up, you’ll be missing out. Let yourself heal, but don’t miss out on love and happiness, because you got hurt. Love like you haven’t been hurt- don’t hold back. Give everyone your all. I believe and can say, there will come a time you’ll get someone else’s all in return, as well. Plus, everyone loves to be loved.
10. Never settle.
Always strive for what you want. Don’t just hunker down when you feel comfortable if there’s more to what you want in life. You might have a steady, reliable job at the moment- so save. Save money at your reliable job, but don’t give up on bigger dreams because you’re comfortable. Keep going. Push yourself, allow growth in your comfortability. Achieve more than comfort. You’ll always live in a sense of wonder and regret if you simply settle.
11. Let your loved ones know.
Don’t let How I Met Your Mother’s Robin Scherbatsky’s accusations of being an “I Love You” slut stop you. Say it, and mean it. If you love someone, anyone, let them know. If it is your mother, tell her. Is it your best friends? Let them know. Do you admire your co-workers? Mention their value. It may be your significant other, say it, write it, sing it, let him/her know your love, always. Show anyone and everyone you love, that you love them. Jennifer Aniston as Rachel Green in “Friends” got it right- everyone likes to hear that they’re loved. You can never go wrong with letting a certain someone know how you feel, and hear that they’re loved.
12. Indulge, embrace, and enjoy.
Really, I mean it. Indulge in what you like whenever you can. Eat that entire bar of chocolate. Read The Shining a fifteenth time. Re-watch The Office again before re-watching Archer again. Sleep for 9 hours on your day off. Enjoy "Cast Away" when you’re all alone because it makes you feel some type of way. Bring your camera to Lake Ontario for the sunset. Make your Sims family move again, and spend hours perfecting their storyline. In the midst of responsibilities and busy days, don’t forget to let yourself enjoy your life.