As we settle down from what we thought was an endless summer and prepare to pay for overcharged textbooks, venti's at Starbucks, and wait, oh yeah, PBR on the weekends along with a bottle of Burnetts; I thought it was the perfect time to reflect and prepare for the most common mishaps to happen whenever you decide to go out to those cliche college parties that most of us know all too much about.
1. Getting into a party and immediately being stuffed into someone's armpit because it's a super packed sauna inside.
One of the biggest cons about parties, the lack of personal space. You have to be prepared for intense levels of BO, possible drink spillage, and elbowing your way through.
2. When that one song comes on that gets everyone dancing.
Every song played up until that point was mediocre. Then the latest jam that everyone knows comes on and immediately gets the party hyped.
3. When you see the house owners have a dog and immediately posting selfies of the pooch on snapchat.
Most of the college population has a thing for dogs. We love everything dog related, especially the snapchat filter. So when we see one at a party we immediately have to run over and smother the dog in affection, posting it on our stories.
4. When you finally meet the person who's Instagram you've stalked about a hundred times, having to pretend like you don't already know their name.
Hopefully this is more common and not just something that happens to me. So awkward when you're meeting someone in person and you have to play it off like you don't know about their recent trip to Mexico that took place 5 weeks ago.
5. Realizing you don't know your East from your West as good as you thought because you're pretty sure you and the squad are walking in the wrong direction.
The squad decides to walk to all the parties together that way no one has to worry about whose driving, but when you're trying to find your way back home later that night, you can't tell if you're walking towards 12th and Orchard, or away from it.
6. Finally getting to the same party as your crush who you've been trying to see all night only to have the party busted by the cops as soon as you arrive.
You've been texting each other party addresses all night trying to meet up, then when you're finally walking up to the party they're at, the cops beat you there.
7. Stepping or sitting in something sticky. Which will happen at least 5 times throughout the course of your night.
Most likely it's either beer or alcohol, or a mixture of both. DO NOT wear your new white converse out. They will be trashed by the end of the night no matter how careful you try to be.
8. Desperately needing to go to the bathroom only to have to wait in line.
Waiting in line for the bathroom behind a group full of girls, finally getting in immediately checking to see if theres toilet paper.
9. Making eye contact the whole night with someone incredibly attractive but never getting the courage to start a conversation.
This happens all too many times, someone stands out to you in a crowded room and you guys both keep giving each other "the look" but neither of you want to make the first move to strike up a conversation. So it never happens, you never see them out again, and you instantly regret not even getting their name.
10. Wondering how you got stuck talking to the drunkest guy at the party who's words make no sense.
There's always that one annoying drunk guy that tries to have a deep conversation with you but is so drunk that his words don't go together and you really just wish he would walk away.
11. Having your friends ask you what party you're at only to realize you have no idea where you are because you aren't the one with the houses address. Then being relieved that iPhones have "pin dropping."
I've been here before and realized this is probably one of the most awkward things: having no idea what house you're at nor what street you're on. You're on the phone with your friend who is trying to meet up with you at a party asking "where are you?!" only to realize you actually don't know where you are because you didn't drive and came with someone who already had the address. Thank god we can send our current locations now.
12. Feeling accomplished that you somehow managed to make it back to your bed, surviving another night out in college, even stopping for Taco Bell en route.
Pure satisfaction. No better feeling that knowing you made it home safe with food and Netflix.
