In lieu of the Happiest Place on Earth's Diamond Celebration for it's 60th Anniversary, and the joy that it brings to countless tourists from all over the world, here are 110 thoughts that go through a girl's mind when visiting the Disneyland Park. Okay, maybe not EVERY girl, since we're all different and you can't generalize, if my UC Berkeley education has taught me anything, but if you are anything like me, I think you might understand some of these thoughts.

1. Can this line to get in gear already, I need a photo op at the castle before my curls come out and my makeup gets all sweaty.
2. I NEED a castle pic.
3. I should have worn my cute sorority letters in the Disney font with some Disney quote on it.
4. Wait, our house doesn’t have a shirt like that. We should totally make one.
5. Ugh, I need a Starbucks, do they have one here?
6. Yes! They do and they have super cute Disney cups. They’re like Holiday cups but better because DISNEY!
7. I need to buy a commemorative Disney Starbucks tumbler, oh, and a mug, and one for all my friends.
8. Ooh, Disneyland shotglass!
9. Wait no, Pirates of the Caribbean shotglass, it goes with the theme better.
10. I really feel the need to go into every gift shop and buy something, but I have to get to Indiana Jones before the line gets too long!
11. I wish they allowed dogs, that would be so cute!
12. Indiana Jones is my favorite Ride, wait, no, Space Mountain, wait, no, Pirates, wait, no...
13. I should take a throw what you know pic by Tarzan’s treehouse.
14. Wow, this guy working the Jungle Cruise ride is kinda hot...
15. Are those high schoolers in line checking me out? They’re for sure checking me out, and that’s kind of gross, but also kind of flattering.
16. This Jungle Cruise ride is low key offensive and lame; at least, that's what my Anthro professor would say.
17. Splash Mountain looks so fun, but I haven’t taken enough photos, so I can’t get my hair wet!
18. Oooh, I could take more really generic pictures with the scenery.
19. Or Thunder Mountain.
20. Space mountain too.
21. Whoever came up with the idea of taking your picture on the ride was either a genius or a terrible person. It will depend on how my photo comes out.
22. Yup, terrible.
23. Why didn’t I bring a hairbrush? Do they sell brushes?
24. The River Boat would make a really great Photo Op, but I really don’t want to waste my precious time on that.
25. The Haunted Mansion building would be so pretty, if it wasn’t so, well, haunted.
26. It’s not even that scary.
27. Wait, is that ghost character new, or is it a real ghost?
28. Now I really wish I didn’t read that online article about creepy Urban Legends in Disneyland.
29. So that was actually really scary, and now the ghosts are gonna follow me home? Stalkers.
30. Sometimes I can’t decide what I wanna be most; a pirate or a princess. Can I just be both in a Kiera Knightley sort of way?
31. Johnny Depp was pretty hot as Jack Sparrow in a weird, guyliner sort of way.
32. Remember when guyliner was a thing?
33. They should have more rides in New Orleans Square, it’s so pretty!
34. OMG I want a lace parasol!
35. OMG, Spring Break trip to New Orleans this year! Mardi Gras!
36. Hey, this place has mint juleps.
37. JK, they don’t have alcohol in them! Mocktails suck!
38. Where can I get a drink here? You know, for us mere mortals that aren’t Club 33 members.
39. Nevermind, drinking would make the teacups very unpleasant, and I can’t miss out on that photo op.
40. Ugh, can I just be a Disney Princess already?
41. Any of them except Sleeping Beauty, she’s kind of a killjoy.
42. Elsa! That’s who I wanna be! Elsa!
43. Oooh, or maybe Jasmine, because she’s less generic.
44. But Ariel is a mermaid, and that’s kinda cool.
45. How does this family have 18 kids, do they not know what condoms are?
46. MUST. GET. AWAY. FROM. THE. STROLLERS.
47. COULD THIS PERSON IN FRONT OF ME WALK ANY SLOWER?
48. Nope, but this other person who is now in front of me can.
49. Okay, okay, it’s time. I will get my photo op near the castle. I’ll only need, like, 100 takes for the perfect one.
50. This picture better top 100 likes.
51. I wish I dressed less comfortable and more cute for a better picture.
52. Crap, that girl over there looks better than me, but I’m trying to be comfortable!
53. I’m not even that comfy, I’m sweaty and my feet still hurt. How is she not sweating?
54. WHY CAN’T MY PICTURE LOOK BETTER?
55. Got it! Now I have to wait to instagram it at a better time, so I’ll get more likes.
56. What will my caption be? I need to think of something not so basic.
57. I just took a picture in front of the castle and mouse ears, everything about that statement is basic.
58. OMG OMG OMG! ITS A GIRL FROM ANOTHER SCHOOL IN MY SAME SORORITY, WE NEED TO MEET AND BE BEST FRIENDS AND HAVE A MOMENT LIKE IN LEGALLY BLONDE!
59. Ew, she just got in line for It’s a Small World. I guess I don’t need to meet her that badly.
60. I kinda want to go on that ride for nostalgia, but I also don’t want the song stuck in my head forever.
61. I didn’t even go on the ride and now it’s stuck in my head!
62. Plus, I don’t wanna creep her out, what if our chapters are really different?
63. I wonder if this gift shop is any different or any better than the other ones?
64. To Tiki Room, or not to Tiki Room, that is the question.
65. I wonder if this keychain (or any other object) has my name?
66. Is it bad that I’m basically an adult and still wish I could dress like a princess here?
67. I seriously envy that little girl’s outfit.
68. Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln is so beautiful and patriotic, brb crying tears of patriotic joy.
69. Toon Town is so nostalgic, but also kind of overrun by children.
70. WHY DOES THAT FOUR YEAR OLD OWN AN IPHONE?!
71. Oh, so he can check the Disneyland wait time app, duh.
72. He’s such an amateur for not getting fastpasses. Didn’t his iPhone teach him anything?
73. Or his parents? Wait, where are they? Is this a lost child?
74. Also, why don’t they let you have enough fastpasses. I need to meticulously plan this trip out like a battle attack.
75. Ha ha, I need a photo op in the Jail.
76. And trying to lift that weight thingy.
77. And with all my favorite characters.
78. Why don’t they have an Aristocats ride? It could be so cool, and in Paris and stuff. Man, I wish people liked that movie as much as I did.
79. An Emperor’s New Groove ride would be cool, the cars could be llama shaped, OR IT COULD BE A MOTION SIMULATION WHERE YOU TURN INTO A LLAMA!
80. How is the Peter Pan line three hours long?
81. OMG, what if they added Frozen Characters to the Matterhorn!
82. Is it bad that I kind of want Elsa’s autograph?
83. MUST. GET. PINK. TEACUP.
84. Ughh, a little girl took it. I guess the purple one is ok.
85. Wow, the purple one is the fastest!
86. I’m just gonna ride Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride for nostalgia.
87. Wow, how did I never realize that you die and go to hell at the end of the ride? That’s not child appropriate.
88. I really want all that cool Mickey Shaped food but I don’t know how to log it on My Fitness Pal.
89. I still haven’t tried that Pinterest clean eating dairy free DIY Dole Whip recipe yet.
90. Whatever, I must have walked miles today, I’m eating everything!
91. OMG, FOOD IN A BREAD CONE.
92. Ooh, they picked a REALLY hot guy for Aladdin.
93. And Prince Eric.
94. Meh, they could have found a better looking Prince Charming.
95. I’ve always wanted to eat in that restaurant inside of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride.
96. Finally! Something to eat that isn’t fried or covered in sugar. Or both.
97. California Adventure has better food than the original park actually.
98. And alcohol! Yessss! Now I don’t have to hustle my way into Club 33.
99. JK, I really want to be a member. Maybe I can marry into being a member.
100. Ooh or have my Honeymoon in the Cinderella Suite and we can wear those matching Mickey and Minnie wedding ears and the Just Married buttons.
101. Wait, I’m crazy. I actually just want the suite to myself right now to bask in elegance and get away from the plebeian masses.
102. Speaking of which, my ears from when I was a kid don’t fit. I should get new ones. But it’s so hard to choose! Do I go all pink, or classic, or character themed?
103. Seriously, the Cars Ride is broken down again? They can make literal magic, but they can’t make this ride work?
104. Either California Screamin got faster, or I’m just getting old.
105. Why didn’t they have this Little Mermaid ride when I was little? I would have loved that.
106. But not as much as if they had made Frozen when I was little. If I was little when Frozen came out, I might actually be MORE obsessed with it then I am now.
107. How bad would it be if I got on Tower of Terror just to look at the scenery in the line, but then left before the ride started?
108. Wow, these parades have really stepped up their game since I was little. Or maybe now I’m just tall enough to actually see what’s happening.
109. I wish I had a boyfriend to put me on his shoulders so I could get a better view.
110. This truly is the Happiest Place on Earth.