Alright, so we females go through hell and back at times to reach our own beauty standards. You ladies know what I'm talking about: the times we've almost broken our ankles wearing five inch heels to our favorite fraternity's formal while trying to balance the amount of mimosas that we may have consumed beforehand (If you're of age, of course). We females, at times, take the incredibly widely-known cliche, 'beauty is pain,' a little too seriously. A perfect example of this cliche would be getting our eyebrows waxed (can you say ouch?!). If any of you have ever had your eyebrows waxed, then you know exactly what I'm talking about.
Here's a list of the thoughts I had this evening while getting my eyebrows waxed for, you already guessed it, a fraternity formal; Pi Kappa Alpha to be exact.
1. How are you doing my eyebrows when yours are aren't even on fleek?
Let's be real, just like we judge a celebrity on his or her outfit, we judge the person who's doing the eyebrow waxing on his or her eyebrows.
2. If I can't even handle a simple waxing, how am I ever going to survive child birth?
I swear this is one of the most painful things ever. It's painful for four seconds and I can't even handle that. How on earth am I going to push a baby out of me?!
3. Why am I doing this?
Like, let's be honest, why am I really doing this? It hurts. It only lasts for what, a week, maybe? And most importantly, it hurts!
4. I am never getting a bikini wax.
Heck no. That is all I have to say about this point.
5. Who thought of this?
My question for past roamers of this great land is: who in the heck thought, "oh I'm going to put hot wax on my eyebrows and put some tape on top of the hot wax and then I'm going to pull as hard as I can." Whoever thought this, props. Props to you, Glen Coco because you changed society forever... and my bank account.
6. Is 'No Wax Wednesday' a thing?
I mean, if Karen from Mean Girls started this whole mantra, then why can't we start our own? Girl power!
7. What would happen if girls didn't follow the status quo?
As Kevin from Mean Girls said, "don't let the haters stop you from doing your thang." In this day and age, we females can do whatever we want-- so do your thang, buttercup and wear some sunglasses to block the hata's. You do you, Glen Coco.
8. I hope my eyebrows aren't waxed off completely.
She can't just be waxing tiny hairs for it to hurting this badly, like, let's be real.
9. I hope she knows I want them arched.
This hurts so bad. I can't even remember if I told her the shape I wanted-- or does she know? She must know. She probably does like like 100 times a day, so she's basically a pro – a trained pro.
10. I feel like I've been sitting here, crying, for a century.
I keep crying, not on purpose, but just because it hurts so badly. If you ask me if I'm okay, I'm going to say yes, but I'm lying 100 percent. No I'm not okay, I can't handle this pain.
11. That pain was absolutely not okay, but I'm looking flawless.
Now that the pain is over, you can look in the mirror as if you're the self-absorbed jock like Zach from "Saved By The Bell" was (you loved him too, don't lie). As Beyonce once said, "you wake up, flawless."
At the end of the day and after all the pain we as females endure, it's all worth it. It makes us feel better about ourselves and it lets the world know that we're ready to take on whatever life throws at us. So flaunt your stuff, Ladies!
