A few nights ago, I walked into my college dorm proudly holding a bag of Chick-fil-A. In the moment, I felt as if my hair was blowing in the wind while some sensual scents of chicken nuggets wafted around me. This vision was quickly interrupted when some dude approached me saying, "Wow, Sam, Chick-fil-A three times in two days?!" While his tone suggested disgust, I know he meant it as a compliment. If it had been any other fast food chain, I would have felt a deep sense of shame and embarrassment. However, because it was Chick-fil-A, I look back on that interaction and smile knowing that was most likely the peak of my life. If you can relate to that story, you are most likely a Chick-fil-A addict as well and you will know these 11 things to be true.
1. You crave Chick-fil-A at all times.
Obvious from the anecdote above, the "I ate that yesterday" argument kind of flies out the window when it comes to Chick-fil-A. In fact, I would even say that the "I ate that earlier today" argument isn't valid in the case of Chick-fil-A.
2. You've driven to Chick-fil-A on a Sunday and contemplated the meaning of life.
If you've ever pulled into a Chick-fil-A parking lot on a Sunday, you know rejection. You know heartbreak. The Chick-fil-A near my house is conveniently located right next to a Culver's which typically gets my business on these tragic days.
3. You've wondered if the workers there are real human beings.
Fast food workers typically make it pretty clear that they hate their life, and they hate you even more for making them do any sort of work at all. However, Chick-fil-A is notorious for its outstanding customer service; their workers are just simply a different breed. There are only three possible rationales for how happy the Chick-fil-A workers are. 1) They're actually robots programmed to respond "My pleasure" to any statement whatsoever even if that's not a fitting response, 2) they're wearing some sort of electric collar that ever so slightly electrocutes them when they fail to respond with "My pleasure," or 3.) they're on drugs.
4. You've debated getting Cheerios at the sauce station just because of how cute they look.
If you've been to Chick-fill-A a single time, you are familiar with their impressive condiments display. Sometimes I just stare at it in awe. Not only is every single packet perfectly lined up (clearly by one of the robot employees), but there are little tiny cups of Cheerios for babies. Well played, Chick-fil-A, well played.
5. Speaking of sauces, you dream about Chick-fil-A sauce.
I'm not entirely sure what Chick-fil-A sauce is. I'm not sure anyone really knows. All I know is that it is delicious, and I usually request at least four or five packs. I would bathe in it if I could.
6. You didn't realize you could love Chick-fil-A more, and then they came out with breakfast.
Well, to be honest, all they did was put their chicken nuggets on little tiny biscuit buns, but that's all they needed to do. The chicken minis are out of this world as are the other breakfast options. Chick-fil-A, you motivate me to wake up before 10:30.
7. The lemonade is your go-to drink at Chick-fil-A.
I'm not a huge fan of lemonade typically, but in the world of Chick-fil-A, this is obviously irrelevant. They must sprinkle just the slightest amount of crack cocaine into that lemon water sugar mix because it is aggressively delicious.
8. If you don't get the lemonade, you get a milkshake.
The milkshakes at Chick-fil-A are just another menu item that make me smile. I would like to inform you all that it was at this point in the article that I stopped writing and drove to Chick-fil-A. I commend you if you've made it this far without having to stop and address your craving.
9. Chick-fil-A is the only time you eat waffle fries, and you love that.
I'm honestly not surprised Chick-fil-A has waffle fries. They are better than any other fast food chain so why would they have the same fries as those peasants? The waffle fries just make them even more unique.
You'll occasionally get one or two waffle fries that cannot really be considered a waffle; its more of the butt of a potato. Nevertheless, you forgive Chick-fil-A for this minor slip up and give it to that one person notorious for liking weird things.
10. You've been waiting this entire article for me to mention the chicken.
11. You've said this on numerous different occasions: "You've never had Chick-fil-A?! We must go right now."
If you've ever had this conversation, you know how urgent it is that you get that poor soul to the nearest Chick-fil-A. I mean, its essentially the same as charity work. Everyone deserves to experience the goodness of Chick-fil-A, and we are all responsible for helping those less fortunate that have yet to try it.
Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoy the Chick-fil-A that you are currently eating or will be eating in the near future.