As a black man with plenty of white friends, I hear a lot of things that show a lot of white people just don't have enough black friends to tell them that some things just aren't cool to say. So, if you are a white person who has never had a black friend (an actual friend who cares enough about you to call you out on your BS), I am here to help you.
1. The "n-word"
Just don't do it. Not under any circumstance. You shouldn't even want to say that word for reasons that should be very obvious to you. It's not "cool," it's not "funny," you're not "just like us." It doesn't matter how many black friends you have, it doesn't matter what music you listen to and it doesn't matter how many times you hear black people say it. Don't.
2. "All Lives Matter"
This statement isn't problematic on its own, but the context of its origin is what makes it an issue. "All Lives Matter" as a social media saying/hashtag began as a way to attempt to tell black people to shut up and stop complaining. After the Black Lives Matter movement began following a wave of unjustified killings of black people and a lack of outrage from media and politicians, people (mostly white Conservatives) took to social media to let everyone know they had had enough and they weren't going to take it anymore. The killing of innocent black people wasn't the problem, the issue was clearly black people talking about it.
All Lives Matter is dismissive, disrespectful and several steps behind the conversation. We know All Lives Matter, that's the whole reason it's upsetting watching black men, women, boys and girls have their lives taken away for cigarettes or skittles or just looking like a threat.
3. "Blue Lives Matter"
See above, and add in that there's no such thing as a "blue" life. Being a police officer is a job. You aren't born a police officer and you can stop being a police officer whenever you want.
4. "BLM is the same as the KKK"
You can't be serious. The KKK is a terrorist organization. BLM just wants people to stop killing black people for no reason and to be punished for it when they do.
5. "Not everything is about race" or "racism doesn't exist anymore"
Not everything is about race. But a lot of things are. People who say "not everything is about race" usually have nothing to say when things are undeniably about race. When LeBron James gets the n-word spray painted on his house, when someone leaves a noose in the African American History Museum, when a professed white supremacist kills nine black people in a church and then tells everyone it was because they were black, when people say Michelle Obama looks like an ape, where are you?
If you don't care about racism, just say that.
6. "Why is there not a White History Month?"
Because every month is White History Month and that would be redundant. This applies to every "what if there was a White version of ___" statement.
"What if there was a show called 'Dear Black People'?"
"What if there was a Miss White America?"
All of that would be dumb and pointless. You're not the first person to have this "insight" and you're not going to be the one to finally make it make sense.
7. "The Confederate flag is about Southern pride"
The Civil War was about slavery. You know it. I know it. Everybody knows it. Every single excuse you can try to give for the South's secession goes back to slavery.
State's rights: to own slaves.
A lifestyle: built largely on a class system dependent on slavery.
Economics: built on slave labor.
Just stop. The Confederacy was nothing but a bunch of slave holding losers. They are not to be immortalized, they are not to be revered, their legacies are not to be preserved.
8. "You're the whitest black person I've ever met"
You might mean well, I'm not sure, but this is basically like saying "I expect all black people to be 'ghetto' but you seem nice and listen to Fleetwood Mac so obviously you're not like those black people. I don't need to reassess my understanding of stereotypes. I can just put you in a different category."
9. "I'm almost as dark as you now"
Your tan is cute or whatever but this isn't funny and never has been.
10. "I'm not racist, I have black friends"
If you ever have to find yourself proving that you're not racist, it's probably because you said or did something racist. There were plenty of slave owners who had black friends and even black lovers. That just negates all the slavery? Nah homie.
11. "Talking about racism makes you the real racist and is dividing us"
Black people didn't invent race. We didn't make white people buy us and drag us to "their" country to be enslaved. We didn't write Jim Crow laws. We didn't segregate ourselves. We didn't make the KKK. We don't force white people leave the neighborhood whenever we move in.
Oppression is never the fault of the oppressed. Ignoring the issues that already exist with race in America doesn't make those issues go away. Maybe one day we won't have to talk about racism anymore, but that'll be because there won't be anymore racism. But as long as there is, we're going to talk about it because we must. Silence helps no one except the oppressor. Don't ask that of us.
Remember, this list is not exhaustive. There are plenty of other things white people should never say to black people, but this list, your own common sense and the general guidelines of human decency should be a pretty helpful guide for you. Actually making black friends can also be very helpful.
