If you’re like me you use the notes folder on your phone as more of a personal diary than a place to jot down reminders. You also might relate to the fact that half of those notes make no sense at all when going back to read them. I went back through my old notes and tried to decipher some of the strangest things I found.

1. Standardized Recycling of America: Employs people to build factories and all other such, Standardized labeling on products

I know next to nothing about the recycling system America has in place but I honestly cannot say this is a bad idea. I think I was onto something here.

2. You won't remember what you don’t remember

I’m not wrong.

3. College Resumes are like Salads

Truly an excellent theory I came up with in the midst of college applications my senior year. The idea is that your grades and test scores are like the lettuce but the activities you do are the toppings that go into the salad. Some people like tomato and cucumber salads and some people like cranberry and quinoa salads it all just depends on your preference of lettuce and toppings.

4. “Would you guys mind reaching behind and grabbing that squash I don't want it to fall on your head?”

Something an uber driver once said to my friend and me. He got to keep the squash after his girlfriend and he split up but hadn’t taken it out of his car after the move.

5. Carotenemia!

A condition babies get a lot because they eat so much pureed carrot and sweet potato. I self-diagnosed myself with this because my fingers are sometimes yellow.

6. “What's that thing with the meat in it?” 3:29 AM

The possibilities are endless for this one, really.

7. Can I get some eggers?

There is a game some friends and I would play in high school where you have to subtly insert a word someone at the table gives you when ordering food at a restaurant. This one was at IHOP and the word was eggers.

8. My way Frank Sinatra good party walk out song

My Way by Frank Sinatra is and will always be the best song to dramatically exit a party to.

9. You are always only Seltzer

I wish I knew.

10. “Crotchety old vacuum cleaner”

Direct quote from the Brave Little Toaster trailer. If you have not seen this movie, you’re wrong.

11. I think it was that man with the butt who yelled at me and told me I was ruining the shot that his girlfriend was taking on her phone of the theatre

This note I tried to sneakily show my friend after being yelled at by a man in the Egyptian Theatre for standing up right when his girlfriend was taking a photo of the cinema. Stupid man with the butt.