With all of this hatred passing through between North Korea and the rest of the world, I decided to make Kim Jong his own playlist, if he even allows music.
1. Love Me Sexy - Jackie Moon
This song was created by an older generation of peace maker. Jackie Moon preached positivity with his life motto ELE: Everybody Love Everybody. Not only did he give a big check to a hippie, created the alley-oop, and give corn dogs to all those people, but he player-coached the Flint Tropics to a MegaBowl win. He practiced what he preached. Kimmy, you'd be good to listen to this song.
2. Why Can't We Be Friends - War
An instant classic, the US should do fly-overs just blasting this song. Maybe send a missile down with the lyrics painted on them so you can truly learn what it means to be a friend and not a foe.
3. Let's Get It On - Marvin Gaye
Jong have you had sex? Do you know what love feels like? Even if you haven't or don't, you'll feel all of these emotions when you hear the opening of this song. If you like that (which duh, you will) go ahead and Google—or whatever the Korean version of Google is—Barry White. That man's voice can stop a war before it starts.
4. Three Little Birds - Bob Marley
"Don't worry about a thing. Every little thing is gonna be alright." KIM COME ON. Light one up, lock all the doors so your people don't see, and just chill out. I'd be happy to send you another playlist that you can listen to.
5. War - Edwin Starr
Kim Jong, I don't think you've ever been to real war, so listening to this song will teach you all about it. You'll learn that war is good for absolutely nothing, and then he'll say it again.
6. I'm A Hater - Waka Flocka Flame
Sometimes you have to thug out, and I respect that. But your thugging is turning into reckless thuggery with threats of nukes to the United States. Trap to Waka, embrace your inner hater, then go back to being the fearless leader your people know you can be.
7. Pain - Three Days Grace
Have you ever cried? I wouldn't think you have that ability seeing as how you had your brother killed, but regardless, everybody needs a good cry. This song talks about all the pain involved in your life and brings it to the surface, where a tear or two may fall. It'd be good for you.
8. Mashup - T-Pain
Kim Jong-Un, let me be serious with you for a second. T-Pain was a staple in the rap game back when he had his top hat and dreads. He lost the hat and kept the dreads, but still kept high standing. He was known for his auto-tune and catchy songs. However, recently, T-Pain has released a video of him without auto-tune and his voice is that of angels. He mashes up a few of his classics, and it's heaven.
9. I Kissed A Girl - Katy Perry
Katy's breakout hit can bring a joy to the mood and a tapping foot to even the hatingest person. Jim, this one's for you buddy.
10. Monsters - Timeflies
A lesser known title, this song will do the same as "Pain" but with better vocals and the addition of a woman. Jim have you ever had a woman? Maybe you tried and failed and that made you the tiny ball of anger we know and "fear" today? Maybe a boy? Whatever the case, this song will help you get over whatever your grievance is.
11. Africa - Toto
One of America's greatest classics, very few words need to be used to talk about this. The song can speak (or sing) for itself.
Jim Kong, you might get made fun of a lot, but this playlist is 100% real. You hit me up if you want more songs. You can follow my Twitter down below, and so can all you readers! Come for the superior writing, stay for the unmatched level of comedy.
