As a generally awkward person, I tend to get myself in a lot of awkward situations. Whether I don't know when to stop talking or when to start, it's safe to say that I can't really go a day without stepping into and awkward situation. And thanks to my sexuality, sometimes these situations get even more uncomfortable because some people just don't know how to drop things. If any of you have gotten red-faced due to a comment that would've been fine if you weren't super gay, you are not alone.
1."Is That Your Boyfriend?"
This happens a lot when I'm hanging out with my guy friends. Someone will walk up to us and ask that question. Which just makes the rest of the day weird between the two of us. Honestly, why do people ask that? If people want you to know who they're dating, they'll tell you. It's none of your business. Oh and every once in a while I'll have someone who knows I'm gay ask me that question and my brain just kind of short circuits. Like I, whose Instagram is literally the tinygay, have a boyfriend? Did you pass out when I told you I was gay or were you just not listening?
2. Accidentally Outing Yourself
A few of my friends have this problem as well. It happens when you just can't pass up the opportunity of making a terrible gay joke about yourself. Or it happens when you forget to say "my boyfriend" instead of "my girlfriend." There's silence, and if you're lucky, acceptance. But no matter what, no one is going to laugh at that damn joke.
3. "Which One Of You Wears The Pants?"
I feel like this gif is a great description of what this situation feels like. It's just that feeling that you get when you are done with someone's s***. You're just tired. Why does there HAVE to be a more masculine woman in the relationship? What if there are two equally masculine women in a relationship? Do they compete to out-gay each other? Is there a fight to the death involved? Or do they take turns?
4. "What? You Don't Look Gay."
I'm sorry, I didn't realize that in order to like girls I have to wear a costume. Just let me go get my rainbow cape and purple battleax. Seriously, what does looking gay even mean? Do have to dye my skin rainbow? Is that what you people want from me?
5. "So, Do You Think She's Cute?"
Just because I like girls doesn't mean I will think every single girl that you point out is cute. I have my own preferences, just like a straight woman does. I don't want to jump every woman that comes within arms length of me. This situation gets even more awkward when you actually do think that the girl is cute.
6. Dinners With The More Conservative Side Of The Family
Trying to be as straight as possible somehow makes me gayer. Which does not fair well when Great Aunt Mildred has been talking about "the gays" and how they're all "going to hell." This is almost unavoidable until you move out.
7. When Your Gaydar Is Horribly Wrong
That girl that you've been hitting on for the past few weeks is not nearly as gay as you thought she was and you may need to take your gaydar in for a checkup. It's even worse when you try to ask her out only to be shot down because she's not into girls. Then she's left to think if you only talked to her because she's pretty and you're friendship will collapse due to her second guessing your intentions and you avoiding her gaze at all costs.
8. When You Realize That You Are A Walking Stereotype
Sometimes you just have that moment when you look down and think "wow, I look really gay today." Not only do you want to avoid being a stereotype, you also want to be an individual. But dammit, this is your favorite beanie!
9. "It's Probably Just A Phase."
Yep, that's right guys, some of us are on the free trial for "Lesbianism" and we can decide if we want to pay for the full package or not. The people who ask you this are hoping that you save your money and don't splurge on the subscription. Once someone says this, it totally changes your view of them. Conversations get weird, you can't look them in the eye, you keep thinking about how they don't take your sexuality seriously.
10. Crushes On Straight Girls
We know we shouldn't. We know she's off limits and that our crush on her just strains the friendship. But our gay a**s have no chill and before you know it you'll be drawing hearts with your names in them. She won't ever reciprocate your feelings, but you still can't seem to stop. You pray that the crush goes away and continue to torture yourself.
11. Guys That Couldn't Take A Hint If It Slapped Them In The Face
You know what I'm talking about. Those guys who try to tell you that "maybe you haven't met the right guy yet," the ones who continously ignore your obvious hints towards your gayness. It's gotten to the point where you're sure that you introduced him to your girlfriend he still wouldn't be convinced.
