11 People You've Encountered In Airports/On A Plane:

Airports, AmIRight???? Ugh. Gosh, nobody likes ‘em. From paying an arm and a leg just for a small cramped seat on the plane, to lugging your stuff all over the place until you find your damn gate, to having the chunk of ice residing within your heart being exposed during those full-body metal detector security scan things, air travel can be a real pain in the (numb-from-sitting-in-your-seat-for-hours) rear. I fly around several times per year, and I absolutely hate airports, but I will also say that I absolutely love people-watching. Here are some people I have actually encountered during my jet-setting:

  1. The Lady With A Baby. This is the first person you notice, as he or she may or may not be crying but there is definitely some weird cooing noise or something emanating from the vicinity 100% of the time.
  2. The Two-Seater. This person is more rare than baby-lady but when you do encounter them, they cannot be missed. they got lucky with an empty seat next to them or maybe even a whole row to themself, and everyone on the plane wants to be them. They are always at the back of the plane. If this has ever been you, you know that it's just the greatest feeling.
  3. The Drunk Grandma. You may not notice her but just know that there is a drunk grandma on almost every flight. She will probably order her drink without ice, she will interrupt your beats-in-world-out in-flight jam-sesh to strike up a chat with you but it will unexpectedly be the most refreshing and charming conversation you’ve had in a while, she will offer you her neck pillow (usually) and she always brings a book but only flips about three pages because she will think of a new topic of discussion to comment to you about every several minutes or so. She is probably on a connecting flight to either some small town in the midwest or South Florida.
  4. The Drunk Single Grandma. I have actually been seated in between a drunk grandma and a drunk single grandma before so had to include both of them on this list. She is the same as drunk grandma but way more glam and orders her drink with ice.
  5. The Tough Guy. He is big. He has muscles. He could be a dad or just a tough looking guy. He takes down everyone’s luggage from the overhead compartments for them. 0% chance of you being able to utilize your armrests if you're seated next to him.
  6. The Unnoticed College Students. Even if they are not wearing some article of clothing with *insert college name* insignia, you, also being a college student, are able to spot them, though they remain inconspicuous in most aspects.
  7. The Instagram Celebrity. They are wearing mostly solid colors, probably some trendy expensive designer sneakers, and at least one of these items has an obscure brand name or logo screen-printed or stitched into it in a minimalist design. They have an iPhone Plus and in terms of on-the-plane snapchat selfies they are bout-it.
  8. The Teched-Out Dude. He’s got a black hiking-style bodybag of a backpack slung over his shoulders and is the last person on the plane because he takes up all the power outlets at the charging station up until the very last call for boarding. He has sunglasses with one of those little neck-loops around his neck and probably an android.
  9. The Guy Who BLASTS His Music Through His Headphones SO LOUD That Everyone Within 4 Rows Of Him Can Hear What He’s Listening To. It’s not even anything interesting, its just rap and r&b hits. nobody enjoys this, yet nobody ever seems to attempt to complain.
  10. The Eater. This person must have spent like 50 bucks on food for this flight. Just when you think they’ve finished their (noisy and smelly) snack and are ready to sit still they pull out an entire freaking six-course meal from Au Bon Pain.
  11. The Sleeper. They are K.O. from the second the plane takes off to the second it hits the ground. Somehow they always ALWAYS choose the aisle seats. Need something from the overhead compartment? Have to go to the bathroom? Good luck.
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