As a community, scuba divers are like superheroes. We have the ability to breathe underwater, experience weightlessness, and we are masters of nonverbal communication. We also all know a lot of useless information about the ocean, and the way our eustachian tubes work. Every diver goes through almost the exact same thing during their training, and while advancing their certifications. These are 11 ways superheroes struggle too.
1. Pretending to be Darth Vader underwater
Breathing for the first time underwater is an experience I think every person should have. Hearing underwater is so much different than on the surface. The next time you go diving, listen to yourself breathe, and you will slowly transform into Darth Vader himself.
2. Trying and failing to take cool pictures
If you haven't lied on the ocean floor and tried to blow Os while your buddy aims the GoPro towards you, you're lying. Also, your diving friends are fake unless they are 110% down to be the Jack to your Rose on wreck dives. Even if you have never shouted (a very muffled) "I'm the king of the world!" on the bow of a sunken ship, you've definitely thought about it.
3. Being utterly baffled at how wrong every shark movie is
This includes hate-watching shark week every year, and having your worst fears come true in "47 Meters Down." Sharks are just giant blind mer-dogs. They are probably just confused as to why us seal-shaped beings with tanks are coming into their homes and disrupting their eating schedule. Keep in mind, sharks kill fewer people than vending machines per year.
4. Peeing in your wetsuit, because the thermocline isn't warm enough
The ocean is just a big toilet for marine organisms, so why not use it? There are two kinds of scuba divers: ones that pee in their wetsuits and ones that lie. Bonus points if you look behind you every time to check out your urine-cloud.
5. Bringing an egg just to poke underwater
You haven't truly lived until you've cracked an egg underwater just to see what happens, and only scuba divers can describe this pleasure to you
6. Having an existential crisis during the three-minute safety stop
There's nothing to do during these three minutes suspended in the ocean except to question your significance in the universe.
7. Having friends around the world
Scuba diving friends are like METAPHOR, you can go years without talking to them, but you would follow them blindly into a one-way underwater cave.
8. Swimming Directly into a stream of Parrot Fish feces
Every diver has followed a rainbow parrotfish in their lives. There's no argument that they are one of the most colorful fish on reef dives. They're one of the cutest too until they release a streamline of waste into your mask and regulator.
9. Using dive signals in real life
If you ever want to be made fun of in front of an entire lecture hall, give your professor the one-armed okay signal, when she asks how you're doing.
10. Getting to the bottom first
We all have random things that we do if you are the first diver down. Mine just happens to be spinning around in circles to equalize.
