Grandmas are the wise old women in the story books, only with a lot more spunk. And, more often than not, they don't hold back on their commentary (which, after 80+ years of being alive, I would be sick of biting my tongue too). Here are the 10 comments your grandma is guaranteed to say to you at your next family function.
1. Ask if you've had enough to eat
Because, if you don't eat an amount of food that could adequately feed a small whale, the results could only be catastrophic.
2. Ask how your love life is
And, regardless of how long you have been dating your significant other, your Grandma will still refer to him/her as your "friend."
3. Slyly insult millennials
You only need to wear ripped jeans once in front of your grandma until you will never do it again.
4. Comment about the waitress/waiter
The food hasn't arrived yet? The waitress has a nose piercing? The male waiter has a ponytail? Grandma will make sure we all know in the kindest-sassiest way.
5. Tell hilarious stories about her son/daughter
Nothing is better than hearing embarrassing stories about your dad when he was eight years old.
6. Laugh at how ‘old’ she is
Even though she is 90 years old and still hosts a garage sale each weekend…like Grandma, I sometimes sleep with the lights on because I am too lazy to get up and turn off the switch…
7. Gossip about her small town
It is necessary to keep updated on Debbie repainting her house to an off-green that clashes with the entire block. And of course whispering the entire time, because you never know who could be listening.
8. Tell you how proud she is
Grandmas don't lie, they have lived far too long to try and hold anything back (and rightfully so). Therefore, when your grandma holds your hand and tells you how proud she is, it is one of the best compliment you'll ever receive.
9. Ask about your future plans
Also, grandmas are noisy. Therefore, you better have a response of what you plan to do with your life ready, because an "I don't know" will not satisfy her curiosity.
10. Tell you she has money or a gift
Bless her sweet little heart, the woman always has a five dollar bill up her sleeve or an old bracelet from her jewelry box to bestow upon you at the end of the day. The woman is truly a saint.