Nothing makes me more excited than the Christmas season. In fact, I am about as gung-ho for Christmas as Buddy the Elf—I just don’t express it through snowflake decorations and syrup drenched spaghetti. Despite my love for Christmas, I have vowed to never start listening to Christmas before Thanksgiving. That holiday deserves a celebration of its own. I do however begin listening to Christmas music the day after, and it’s about all I listen to for the whole month of December. I mean you only get 25 days to listen to this genre of music. You can’t waste time. Although my love for Christmas jingles reaches sky high, I have to admit, there are some wacky songs out there. Here is a list of some of the weirdest Christmas songs I know. Some of these you may have never heard before. Some of these are classics that you maybe just didn't listen to the lyrics close enough.
1. Dominic the Donkey
I mean who doesn’t think of Santa’s little friend Dominic the Italian Christmas donkey when Christmas time comes around?? Apparently, he is equivalent to Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer!
2. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
Apparently grandma simultaneously drank too much eggnog, forgot her medication, and walked out into the snow right when Santa’s sleigh came coasting by. And grandpa copes with his loss by watching football and drinking beer with cousin Mel.
3. Santa Baby
I didn’t know Santa was an eligible bachelor to flirt with. No wonder I haven’t been getting what I wanted just by writing a simple Christmas list!
4. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause
What could mess up a kid more than seeing the one man they have been waiting for all year kissing and tickling their mother? And what’s even more confusing is wondering where their dad is while this is going on. This Christmas song is basically forcing parents to break their children’s hearts by disclosing Santa isn’t real.
5. I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas
No toys, dolls, or even a fluffy puppy for this kid. Of all things, she wants a hippopotamus. I think we are all wondering why?
6. Baby its Cold Outside
Can this even be considered a Christmas song? It’s cold outside. The month could be anywhere from November to February. Christmas terminology is actually never stated in this romantic classic.
7.The Little Drummer Boy
The phrase “Pa rum pum pum pum” is repeated 33 times and the lamb and ox kept time. Need I say more?
8. Do You Hear What I Hear?
The night winds talk to the lamb and the lamb talks to the shepherd boy. Not to mention the baby is shivering and they suggest bringing silver and gold. I think a blanket would better fit his needs.
9. 12 Days of Christmas
Apparently receiving swans, geese, French hens, and turtledoves really gets ya in the feels for your loved one. I don’t know about you, but 8 milking maids seems like the perfect gift, full of love and a promise of forever?
10. Do They Know it's Christmas Time
You will definitely have a holly jolly Christmas when being reminded that Africa is a land where nothing grows, or rains or rivers flow. And while you are eating your Christmas cookies, raise a glass to the fact that “the clanging chimes of doom” are ringing for them and not for you.
I will admit, some of these actually made it onto my Spotify Christmas playlist because of their catchy tunes and overall connotation with Christmas time. But if you actually take time to read the lyrics, these songs are straight up weird and logically shouldn’t be evoking the jolly, Christmas spirit. However, if these songs happen to be some of your favorites, have at ‘em because you only get about a month to relish in their lyrics and tunes. May they bring you joy and put you in the Christmas spirit!
