"Hold your head high."
"You have a purpose."
Now stop. Think about what you just read. I know you have heard all of these before, but ask yourself: How did those little sayings make you feel? Was the feeling fleeting?
The problem with confidence is that it's viewed as a characteristic of a person, instead of a practical exercise. Basically, you have it or you don't. To be confident or not to be confident, there is no question.
The main issue I've had in my continuous quest to conquer confidence is getting past the word "just". Not in the "fair" or "equal" definition of the word, but rather pertaining to "living in the moment", as in "just being". A matter of existence opposed to action.
If you are anything like me, you need to have a roadmap for success. A confident agenda with diverse color markings, sticky notes, and colored tabs.
Therefore, I hope this list of 10 Tips will carry you through your journey in discovering confidence.
#1: Do not over analyze.
Contrary to what a parent or teacher may tell you, there is such a thing as striving too hard. Perfection solicits stress. Stress grants anxiety. Anxiety reduces confidence.
I'm not saying sit back and wait for confidence to swing your way, but live a life devoted to positivity. Also, don't confuse confidence with pompous action. Confidence is an inner strength that comes from developing an uplifting persona, that begins within yourself.
#2: Engage with Personal Acceptance
Confidence does not come from a fairy godmother, magic potion or even a college degree. Rather, confidence lives on the right side of the brain, that explores the desires of your heart. You must love yourself and give confidence to your inner being before it can shine through externally. Worth is the key to purpose, which is grasped through the happy desire for personal action.
#3: Know the Lord's Gift of Worth
Finding worth in yourself comes from knowing your creator. Looking to the Bible, the Lord bestows his word upon you saying that you were "made in the image and likeness of the Lord," in Genesis 1:27. Whether you place this principle in relation to body image, personal drive, or life purpose, the Lord wants to lift you up for your own worth. Which means that God created only "one" of you. Therefore, use His purpose designed specifically for you, in order to add power to this world.
#4: Do not Compare
Being a girl, and quite frankly being a human, makes the comparison issue a challenge. I definitely know the feeling of stepping out of my door with extreme worth and self-assurance, until I see another girl that is taller, or skinnier, or has nicer clothes than me. Sometimes I feel like we have a mirror attached to our sides, pointing out flaws and inconsistencies. Seeing another person personify your desired image stirs up personal judgment and weakens personal power. However, pointing to your own consistencies cancels out negativity. In this case, we want a positive and a negative to equal a positive. For when you positively see yourself as beautiful inside and out and then negatively see a girl that you think has it going for her, do not allow a wall of defeat rise up in front of you. Rather, keep walking in positive reassurance that even when you seem to be defeated by the world around you, your worth grants you immunity from being beaten down into the mud. You must realize that it is okay for other people to have it going on. Being happy for other people, allows you to except yourself. If you see a girl walking past you and you think "wow, her hair looks really pretty today and I wish I looked that good," turn it around and explain to yourself that "she may have nice hair, but I'm also a really loyal friend or she may have nicer clothes, but I have a really beautiful smile." Bestow other areas of positivity on yourself when other people's positive areas make you feel less than enough.
#5: Cheer Yourself On
Encourage Yourself. Leave yourself notes, set reminders on your phone, look up inspirational quotes, or write encouragements on your mirror. Confidence takes conscious practice. One must believe in their ability to have confidence, but also remind themselves to put on the strong face. Plus, this is a solid excuse to scroll Pinterest for quotes or reminder ideas.
#6: Reinvent Yourself or Your Surroundings
Just because you might have problems with confidence in the past, awkward moments or introverted action, it doesn't mean it's not your time to allow yourself to shine. Yes, there will be other embarrassing moments, but with confidence, these times will not hold so much emphasis. Confidence includes holding strength and high self-esteem within yourself during the stressful, awkward, or intimidating situations. This feat becomes easier when you have friends that will lift up your confidence. If you are currently in a friend group that makes you feel isolated to their grouping or pressured to be a silent cohort, then maybe that's not a confidence producing lifestyle.
#7: Speak about Your Problems
Bottled up hurts fill your head with cloudy negativity, thus not leaving much room for self-empowerment. Sometimes crying and screaming at the top of your lungs is not enough. Find true friends, close family members, or even professional help that will take the time to listen. Clearing your head is a great way to get in touch with yourself and is the first step to conquering issues. Remember that you are never alone.
#8: Get in Touch with Nature
Sometimes sitting in the midst of God's creation can create a safe space for deep thinking. Read a book or lay out in a hammock. Think about all the positives within yourself. Think about your purpose. Think about your hopes and dreams. Finding self-fulfillment can lead to a happier mental state that will start to shine through in your personality. People will start to realize the amazing joy and spark you bring to this world when you are the best possible you.
#9: Step Out of Comfort
This might be another challenging one, but usually proves to be the most beneficial. Walking up to a group of people you don't know and introducing yourself can seem really intimidating, but it also solicits an opportunity for friendship. Going to a new club meeting can seem daunting when you don't know if you are going to like the activity; however, you will never know if you don't try. Finding one's place or discovering positive atmospheres are worth a couple seconds of discomfort. Plus, the worst thing that can happen is that someone doesn't like you, but that is their loss. Don't let other people's feelings toward you define you!
#10: Pray About It!
In the toughest of times, God is holding your hand. He wants to guide and protect you in every situation, but you must ask for His guidance. Ask Him for the will to be confident in daily action.
The confidence you hold by merely being part of the Lord's image is insurmountable. Truly, "you can do all this through him who gives you strength", Philippians 4:13. Remember that the Lord lives inside you and that you have a will to strengthen His message. Have confidence in Him and he will place confidence in You!