In today’s world, it’s hard to find a special connection. One that won’t just fizzle out the first time something ridiculous happens. We all want something that will last, or at least that has the potential to last. So, how do you know when you’ve found someone you should keep around?
- You feel comfortable telling them things you didn’t think you could tell anyone. Your deepest secrets. Those things that you wish you could tell someone to get it off your chest, and those things you didn’t think anyone would ever want to hear. Somehow, you feel an easiness when you talk to them, and especially when you’re talking about things you’ve never shared with anyone.
- You talk about going to the bathroom or other “gross” things openly. Okay, I know this is kind of weird. But if you can’t openly say “hey can you pull over, I need to pee” to someone, you probably don’t feel that comfortable around them. And of course, the farther you get into a relationship, the realm of acceptable grossness expands. (Maybe this is just me, but I hope not because if so, awkward.)
- You feel like there is no judgment between the two of you, especially about your past. We all have some sort of a past. The length or intensity of that past is different for everyone, but it’s important that your significant other accepts you for who you are now, and accepting that your past made you that way. I won’t lie, it’s hard (especially when it comes to exes), but it’s necessary.
- You see a potential future with them. This may not happen right away, but we all know it has to happen at some point in a relationship. If you can’t see yourself with someone long term, then it probably isn’t going to work out.
- You fight. This one seems weird, too. And maybe “fight” isn’t the right word. But I’m a firm believer that if you don’t argue every once in a while, there’s something wrong. You have to expect things from each other, and no good relationship comes without its (occasional) arguments.
- They make you laugh, and laugh at your stupid jokes, too. My mom always says she married my dad because he could make her laugh. It's important that you two have fun together, and you enjoy each others' senses of humor, even if they're different.
- They want to hear about your day. It all comes down to caring enough to ask about you. How you are, how was work, etc. It makes you feel loved and that’s totally important.
- You share a common taste in music. This one isn’t vital to every relationship, but it was to me. I wanted to be able to share this with someone because I love music, and I didn’t want to feel weird about getting in the car with my person and hating whatever was on the radio.
- You trust them and are honest with them. Obviously super important. Trust is essential, and you can't have trust without honesty, from both of you.
- They are your best friend. All of this adds up to my last tip, and it's really just a combo of all these others. I'm a firm believer in friendship before relationship, because I think it forms a solid foundation. You need someone you like even on their bad days, and friendship helps that happen. Just look at Monica and Chandler.
Of course, I’m no relationship expert, so your experiences with someone may be different and there may be different reasons you feel they are someone special. But I think a lot of these things, like trust and honesty, and feeling comfortable around someone, are good indications of a lasting relationship.
