Dating somebody with any sort of mental illness can be challenging, but I can personally vouch for those who have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression. When you begin dating someone, you try to be there for your significant other through thick and thin, but we know how hard this can sometimes be. But before you jump into a relationship with someone with a mental health issue, you need to understand these few things.
1. We need reassurance of your feelings.
A part of having these mental illnesses is constantly doubting when somebody cares about you. Whether it's from lack of self confidence, or from people walking out of our lives, we need to be reminded that you care.
2. Don't compare us to others.
In general, this isn't okay, but do you understand how bad that feels? Even if you aren't saying it in a negative way, saying "You do this better than (insert name)" is extremely disrespectful. Just don't.
3. Don't lead us on.
Don't say things you don't mean. I can't stress this enough. Even if you think it'll make us "feel better", I guarantee it's gonna feel a lot worse when we find out it's not true.
4. You have to genuinely care.
If someone with depression or another mental health issue trusts you enough to come to you in a time of need, you need to actually care. And your actions need to demonstrate this. Something we struggle with is feeling completely alone.
5. Don't ever mock us or act like our problems don't matter.
Whatever it is that's bothering us obviously means something to us. Don't talk it down and act like it isn't a big deal.
6. Compliments can be more than just about physical beauty.
I know personally with my depression issues, I love to be complimented on my intellect and personality more than my physical appearance.
7. Don't cancel plans last minute, or get angry when we want to plan ahead.
If you ditch us, regardless of the reason, we are gonna assume its because we aren't good enough. With anxiety, we like to know what is going to happen so we have a tendency to plan everything out. "Winging it" just doesn't cut it.
8. Be there to listen, but don't force it.
If we want to discuss our insecurities, we will. And we will appreciate you listening more than you know. But sometimes, we don't want to talk about it. That's okay too, it doesn't mean we don't have feelings for you, it just means we aren't comfortable discussing it openly.
9. When angry, don't ignore us.
When you get angry during an argument, don't ignore us. That is the worst possible thing you can do. Being ignored is the worst possible feeling, especially when you already feel like you're not good enough.
10. Be there as support, but also respect our alone time.
Alone time is definitely needed, and sometimes you just need some time to listen to music and collect your thoughts. This is normal and essential for those battling these inner demons. Understand it isn't because of you, but because we just need to breathe.
While we may be difficult to be with, we will love you unconditionally and you will become the light of our lives.
