I have been watching way too much of The Office lately. Like, hours and hours. It's a comforting show, especially when you are feeling insanely stressed. And there is one thing I've noticed: Dwight Schrute is insanely relatable. At least, to my coffee-jacked, frazzle-brained self. So, in the spirit of finals, here are 10 times Dwight's quotes have made me think,"Me too, man."
1. “How would I describe myself? Three words: hard working, alpha male, jackhammer, merciless, insatiable.”
2. “The principle is sound. To avoid illness, expose yourself to germs, enabling your immune system to develop antibodies. I don’t know why everyone doesn’t do this… Maybe they have something against living forever.”
If you have ever lived in a college dorm, you know that this may not be true. But it's a comforting thought when your entire floor has the flu and you hope you aren't next.
3. “I am ready to face any challenge that might be foolish enough to face me.”
This is a mantra for finals week, or really any time you just need to get hyped for a difficult day.
4. “Why are all these people here? There are too many people on this earth. We need a new plague.”
The only thought you have when the line for coffee at the library goes out the door.
5. “There are 3 things you never turn your back on; bears, men you have wronged, and a dominant male turkey during mating season.”
As someone whose college campus is rife with male turkeys, this is actually strangely relevant.
6.“Before I do anything I ask myself, ‘Would an idiot do that?’ and if the answer is yes, I do not do that thing.”
On making decisions.
7. "Fortunately my feelings regenerate at twice the speed of a normal man's."
8. "Always the padawan, never the Jedi."
9. "You couldn't handle my undivided attention."
The real reason you stay on your phone during lecture is to save your professor from the danger of your complete attention.
10. “D.W.I.G.H.T – Determined, Worker, Intense, Good worker, Hard worker, Terrific.”
Now, go forth and conquer!
