1. "Oh we’ve decided what the speed limit is?"
As a native Coloradan, I’ve said this more times than I can count. Most out of state drivers decide that the speed limit is firm, and they refuse to even touch that. In Colorado, you speed or you die. You don’t even want to see me stuck behind someone going 10 under.
2. "Dude I’m going 10 over chill"
On the flip side, people trying to get me to go faster drive me UP A WALL. I am also in a hurry to get where I’m going, but if you’re that peeved, pass me. As my dad likes to say, “faster, God’s calling!”
3. "Get off my butt!"
People riding my bumper is another wonderful pet peeve of mine. Not only is it super rude, it’s highly dangerous if I happen to brake suddenly for any reason, or if someone needs to get in between us to change lanes. The rule of thumb is to leave at least a car length in between you and the person in from to you. Anything less is asking for trouble.
4. "Hello construction zone, lovely to see you again."
Construction zones stress me OUT, especially with people who want to speed in them. I can see going five or so over, but after that, you’re risking a high fine and workers lives. Often, I find the correct speed limit and set my cruise control to the great chagrin of the cars behind me.
5. "Oh [expletive] sorry"
To be used in a variety of ways, cursing is my favorite form of apology.
6. "WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!"
I love cars that sit in my blind spot! If you have to be next to someone, at the very least try to get in and out of their blind spot rapidly. Don't be that person; speed up or slow down.
7. "5 feet is NOT enough time to brake my good sir."
Rapid braking is AWFUL under all circumstances. It endangers every driver nearby. People usually brake quickly to make a turn they weren’t expecting. In that case, please !!! don’t turn !!! If you missed your turn, keep driving and find a safe place to turn around — I promise it will come.
8. "I LOVE PASSING SEMIS!"
Listen, I have a lot of love and respect for semis. However, driving near them on the road is horrifying in ways I will never explain. It has to be evolutionary fear of large, heavy, fast objects.
9. "Well that was highly illegal."
It doesn’t matter who this is directed to; it’s often true. Sometimes, I mutter it to myself, but often I tell other people from the safety of my own car that they’re the worst human being I possibly know.
10. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING"
It doesn't matter how long you've had your license, driving is just a lot of guessing and checking. Most of the time, you follow the drivers around you and hope for the best.
