It's no surprise that guys typically don't spend a lot of time being intentional with their relationships. Girls nationwide (worldwide?) have their weddings planned out from day one. They know what they want in a man and they know it for EVER.
But dudes? Not so much. Most of us just kind of date around looking for girl after girl unsure of what we're actually looking for in their personalities and lives. So we break heart after heart when we could be saving ourselves so much hurt and precious time if we're intentional about who we date and what we're looking for in the girls we encounter.
I'm going to be honest: this article was inspired big time by Stevie Burries' article on 10 things she's looking for in a husband. She made me realize it's time for the fellas to have a say, too.
So to my future wife, here are some things you're going to need to have:
1. A passion for Jesus
Her love for Jesus needs to outshine everything else about her. If this first one isn’t true, none of the rest of them will matter. I want a woman who will constantly submit her own will to the Lord’s and will equally constantly call me out when I’m not doing the same.
2. A heart for family
My life’s work is going to be all about kids. I want to love on kids and raise them and teach them about Jesus and be a kid with them. If she doesn’t have that same love, we’re going to clash in a lot of ways.
3. A love for kids and an ability to act like one
My life’s work is going to be all about kids, specifically in a childrens' ministry or camp ministry. I want to love kids and raise them and teach them about Jesus and be a kid with them. IF she doesn’t have that same love, we’re going to clash in a lot of ways.
4. A willingness to get her hands dirty
She needs to be willing to get down and scrub the floor with me if our first house is a wreck. She needs to be willing to go out into the community and help serve in ways that aren’t exactly easy and include hard work. I was blessed with parents who taught me to have a strong work ethic—she should have one, too.
5. A genuine sense of humor
She shouldn’t just be cracking jokes all day but she should also understand the difference between the times when I’m joking and when I’m serious. Sarcasm is a big theme of my sense of humor so this one will be big.
6. A sacrificial heart
Her heart must be one that loves the people around her by lavishing her adoration on them in real (or at least non-ignorable) ways.
7. An understanding of, and willingness to work with, my weaknesses
She should be able to understand that I suffer from ADD: I fixate, my memory sucks, but she should be willing to work with that anyway and love me in spite of it.
8. A couple hobbies. Or three. Or four. Or twelve. (but not just one)
I love the outdoors. But I also love music. And I love sports. And I love reading. And I love movies. And the list goes on and on. She can’t be somebody whose only idea of a night out together is dinner and a movie because while I love movies and I love food, that can’t be all.
9. A love and appreciation for music
She needs to be a person who is perfectly okay with blasting 21 Pilots throughout the house while we clean on a Saturday morning or Bethel worship while we sit and read. I pretty much have a soundtrack going 24/7 for my life and she needs to be OK with that. (BONUS: she’s a musician herself!)
10. An awareness of the world around us
This one sounds kind of trivial but I’m serious: she needs to understand government (or its basics), politics (or their basics), and the general information on how the world around us works. I guess another way of putting it is—she’s a good citizen. She knows why she pays taxes and can reason why it’s OK for her to be upset when the government does something it’s not supposed to do. This is becoming less and less prevalent in our generation and it’s something I value highly.
Basically, I just want a girl who's gonna make me do this:
