I know what you're thinking, "10 things we can't admit", no, I am totally open to express anything. My wrong doings, my flaws, I know that I am self-aware and hashtag woke. And for the few that find themselves in that category... congratulations! You just qualified for #10 on the list.
#10: We aren't as self-aware as we think we are.
If the name doesn't speak for itself, it is very simple. We like to think that we know what is going on around us. We walk around and speak freely as if we know where we stand in the world. In reality we fail to see the big picture. We aren't self-aware at all. We know only what we know. We know what people tell us. The problem we actually face is, we don't know what we truly mean to what is blind to us. How do we fix this? We learn. You can't fix something that you don't know is a problem. Yes I know, Tammy, I would never get an abortion either. It is a terrible, morbid, and unforgivable thing to do, but so is forcing a child be born into a broken system in which we like to call "the pursuit of happiness". Then that same child bears another child because she was not educated or financially stable enough to be offered the appropriate contraceptives to stop the poverty cycle. Having a stance in politics or almost anything, also means knowledge about both what you believe in and what you cannot understand. It means that it is okay to not agree. You don't win the argument by out wit or out informing the other. You win the argument by learning why you might be wrong.
#9: We hate to care more.
We hate to be vulnerable. Especially when our feelings are in the line of fire. The fear of caring more is like the fear of bungee jumping and then never coming back up from the fall. You desire and ultimately rely on the reciprocation of your feelings. Without that validation of an equally caring relationship, we often fall into the spiraling down game of who can care less. That is why you never text first. That is why you have to wait two minutes until you can open that Snapchat. It is also why you feel bad to stand up for yourself when you are hurt by someone. You refuse to let them know that you have feelings about anything, despite the fact you spend 24/7 caring that they don't care as much as you.
#8: We don't have our shit together.
As high school years come to a close and you gradually enter the big kid world, whether that be college, the workforce, military, we love to compare ourselves to the ones we used to call friends. As you strap in for your senior year of college, majoring in whatever program you could get into, you find a little bit of joy as you scroll down the endless road of Facebook feed. What could bring this little spark of joy? That girl who spread a rumor about you, of God only knows what, is expecting! What is this? The father isn't in the picture?! Although this made up story is not in the least bit real for me, hybrids of that story exist all throughout time. Believe it or not, even before Facebook. We enjoy these little moments because it helps us to think that our life is a little more put together than theirs. Who doesn't love the feeling of finally persevering over their arch enemy? I would love to say that this entire paragraph was made to just tell you that you are in fact better than your high school bully, but unfortunately its not. What we should know is, we don't have our shit together over anyone else. As long as we obsess over being better than the next person, we can't have our shit together. If we did, we wouldn't care what the prom queen's post pregnancy body looks like.
#7: We know our mother was right.
This is one of my flaws. As much as it would be easy and fulfilling to know that all these years you truly knew more than your mom, that isn't the case. Your mom and your dad went through the same things that you had to go through and since you are a product of them, their feelings were probably very similar to yours. I'm not saying that you should never go out because mom said so. I'm just saying she might have a point. She was one of the girls going out and she knows all of the risks, fun, and heartbreaks that can be faced when you walk out of her door. Your mom loves you, despite what it may feel like at times. She expects the best out of you because she truly and passionately believes that you are the best. When she says, "no you can't go out" or "I don't likes those friends", she is actually saying, "I love you enough to tell you this".
#6: We need our family.
It is easy to fall into the popular habit of rejecting your family in the teenage years. We go to middle school and high school and we grow close to people very different than what we grew up around. The mistake we make is relying on those people for our happiness. We become devoted to them as if the devotion will always be reciprocated equally throughout all of time. These people might be your closest friends, teammates, or a boyfriend/girlfriend. Some of these people may become a part in your life that you can call family. Some of them will be temporary and fade out of your mind as quick as they entered. Family is always consistent. They brought you here and they will be by your side when you leave. Your personality, beauty, and humor come from them and although it is nice to share yourself with others, make some time to share yourself with family too. Don't be ashamed to stay in sometimes. Don't be ashamed to put your family first. Its okay to admit that family is everything.
#5: We are more privileged than we think.
We all think we have it the worst. We are all privileged in one way or another. If you disagree. Watch any privilege walk video ever on the internet. Why this topic fits this list is because privilege is a sensitive subject. People don't like to think of themselves as privileged or they feel guilty that they were born into better situations than others. Privilege shouldn't be a flaw you were born with but an asset to get you were you want to be. And maybe, allow yourself to bring privileges to people in need so they can prosper as well. Be open about yourself. Be whoever you are and own whatever privileges you have or don't have. Just know where you stand on the privilege pedestal. Simple as that.
#4: People aren't as terrible as we think.
This is something that we probably find it hard to admit to ourselves the most. The people we think are terrible are the people that hurt us. Our feelings are quite biased. All the time. Although we see this person hurt us or hurt people close to us, that person is hurting about something themselves. No matter the amount of digging and creeping you do, you never really know anyone. That is the scary part of this all. We never really know who people are and we can't see what no one was there for. Although we would like people to be as bad as we know them to be, that is just not the way it goes. It is up to us to get over our biases and expect the best out of people, even the ones we usually get the worst from.
#3: We lie.
We lie almost as much as we tell the truth. Every lie is unique and every lie is for a different reason. These lies may be evil. We may be trying to hurt someone with these lies. We reason out why our lies are justified. These lies may be small. The can seems insignificant at times. We have all stretched the truth a little or said a lie in order to spare someone's feelings. Despite all of these being different types of lies, they all equal to a lie. Some can argue if certain lies are better than others. What we can all agree on is, we don't like to admit that we do it. We aren't lying when we say, liars suck. Who wants to admit they lie when there is such a harsh aroma surrounding it. Not me.
#2: We cry, like all the time.
How many sad movies have to come out for all of you to realize that it is okay to cry. The movie wouldn't be made sad if they didn't want you to cry. The shitty thing about it is, this fight about crying isn't just about crying. It is about a fear people have to be vulnerable or to be treated as if they are weaker than others who don't cry. Men are degraded for crying, often labeled in the sexist and offensive stereotype, that they are acting like girls. As if crying is only a girl thing to do. As if crying is a flaw that women have. I find it hard to not cry sometimes. I find it hard to not cry at the silliest things. What is harder though? Crying is. It is harder to cry and admit that something is making us upset, than to try to act like something isn't wrong. Crying proves that we have feelings. Who wants to admit that? I, personally, like to call it the "who has the coldest heart game".
#1: We enjoy reading things like this.
We click on articles like this because they mean something to us. They validate that we aren't alone. These articles help us relate to the world and see how normal we actually are. Those quirky things that we thought only we knew about ourselves is actually something that everyone does. Articles like these help us get comfortable with the world around us and express personal stories, informative or opinionated conversations, and just laugh. Laugh all together, because we all get it. So don't be afraid to admit you enjoy these articles... share this, own everything you don't want to admit.
