We’ve all had those days--when it feels like no matter how much convincing you do, your friends are just set on going to your ex’s tailgate. You decide that it’s a good excuse to wear your cutest outfit that doesn’t show sweat stains and buck up.
It’s the third week in a row that you’ve wound up there, and it seems the most consistent part of your game days this season is your reaction to seeing him at HIS tailgate.
So what do you do? More tellingly, what goes through your head?
1. Bail. Your fight or flight response kicks in and “run” is the first and only option. You suddenly realize that maybe it wasn’t such a bright idea to tag along with your friends to your ex’s fraternity tailgate after all.
2. Find a Pledge IMMEDIATELY. A concoction of half-diesel-half-Hawaiian-Punch should calm the nerves. Someone call me a pledge.
3. He’s approaching me. “Why am I so damn approachable?! It’s the cheetah print. I just look extra good today.”
4. Oh, I see you’re wearing a button. I thought you thought buttons were stupid. Where’s the embroidered button my mom made you last year?
5. I look like a deer in the headlights. Just say hello. You took shots together on Thursday. We weren’t THAT drunk, we can say hello to each other...Nope, that was so awkward.
6. Why are these tents so small? Why am I even at this tailgate? How do I keep running into you? I look like a stalker. I am so claustrophobic.
7. I’m stuck. If I leave my friends now, I will NEVER make it to the game. I will be so lost and alone for the rest of the day. I’ll just have one more cup of whatever is in that trashcan.
8. This Pledge is technically older than me. Talking to him should still make my ex jealous, right? I would be jealous if I were him.
9. Yes, definitely time to shotgun. Okay going in the little tent room, not sketchy at all. All right, Keystone Light and a cute pledge, don’t mind if I do.
10. Blackout Barbie strikes again. That wasn’t so bad, that’s the girl he knew and loved anyway.
In the end, you realize that maybe going to the tailgate wasn’t the worst idea you’ve ever had. After all, you’re both going to be drunkenly yelling "Neck" in a couple hours anyway. Oh, and you took a pic together, priceless.