10 Things My Mom Said When I Took Her To A Frat Party

10 Things My Mom Said When I Took Her To A Frat Party

“Where can I get a beer other than Natty Light?”

When you take a parent to a fraternity party two things happen: people try to give the parent excessive amounts of alcohol, and the parent consumes excessive amounts of alcohol.

1.“Where can I get a beer other than Natty Light?”

I think my mother, along with any other parent, does not want to go back to cheap beer after drinking Stella Artois almost every night.

2.“My feet hurt.”

That pretty much sums up how any girl in wedges feels after 10 minutes at a frat.

3.“If I was still young, I would date that cute boy over there!”

Well, sorry to tell you mom, but you’re pushing 50, with a husband, four kids, and I’m not sure that cute boy is interested in you.

4. *To cute frat boys* “Have you met my daughter, she’s single and is looking for a cute boyfriend. She’s very smart and will make a living for herself.”

Of course, your parent has to embarrass you at least a little when you take them out, but my mom sounded like she was trying to marry me off.

5. “Can I do that beer chug thing everyone is doing?”

It’s called shotgunning mom. You want to shotgun? How about... no.

6. “Can I slap the bag?”

Originally, my mom thought this was a good idea... until she watched the bag be passed around from person to person. She decided against it and then whispered to me...

7. “That bag definitely has herpes now.”

The odds of her being correct were high, so with that, the wine bag was out. That means back to a scavenger hunt for beer.

8. “My feet still hurt.”

Really mom? Still complaining? Don’t you have practice walking in high shoes? Deal with it.

9. “I can’t believe that girl is wearing that low shirt. She looks like a prostitute.”

Little do parents know, their little angels dress half naked to most parties.

10. "Can we please go home now?”

As the clocks hit midnight its signals bedtime for my poor mom, even though most parents don’t make it past eleven.

Sorry, mom for embarrassing you with this, but it was just too fun! To any parents who haven’t attended a frat party, you should truly go.

Cover Image Credit: Marlye Jerva

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If The FSU Fraternities Had Their Own Zodiac Signs

Where Does Your Inner "Frat Boy" Belong?

With Florida State slowly integrating fraternities back into its college society, it's time to assess just where you belong.

Aries - Delta Tau Delta

Maybe they don't have a reputation of being the friendliest fraternity, but ΔΤΔ definitely parties hard.

Taurus - Sigma Alpha Epsilon

ΣΑΕ is better off out of Heritage Grove, claiming the perfect location for Lotsa Pizza.

Gemini - Kappa Sigma

Sorry, who?

Cancer - Alpha Tau Omega

"Imagine Pike and Phi Delt are Publix. ΑΤΩ is Winn-Dixie."

Honestly, I would be moody if Greek Rank talked trash about me, too.

Leo - Phi Delta Theta

ΦΔΘ was so full of it that they were eventually busted.

Virgo - Phi Kappa Tau

ΦΚΤ is the fraternity that finally perfected a music playlist surrounding Heritage houses actually enjoy listening to.

Libra - Delta Chi

ΔΧ brothers have a 10/10 chance of being good guys. Regardless of which one you're with, you know you won't end up in a ditch.

Scorpio - Alpha Epsilon Pi

ΑΕΠ is one of those places you consider going to, but they get kicked off campus before you can.

Sagittarius - Chi Phi

ΧΦ always seems like a good idea.

Capricorn - Pi Kappa Alpha

ΠΚΑ brothers know they can get whatever they want, but everyone likes them too much to care.

Aquarius - Phi Gamma Delta

FIJI probably has the most married active brothers out of any fraternity... at all.

Pisces - Sigma Phi Epsilon

Way to quietly get suspended before the storm... We see you ΣΦΕ.

Cover Image Credit: fsupikes.com

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The Horrifying Truth About Fraternity Parties

Sometimes you just have to see it to believe it.

Going into college, I decided to keep an open mind about Greek life. I didn't rush Freshman year, but I decided if I was still interested in sophomore year I'd rush, just for the heck of it.

Until then though, there was one huge part of Greek life that I could get involved in, fraternity parties. Where privileged white guys blare rap music and shout the N-word. If you were wondering what you've been missing out on, worry no more.

1. The guys treat the women like trash.

That's basically all you need to know.

If you're a girl who's still inclined to go after hearing that, then you probably need some elaboration...

At a frat party, you will see only members of that fraternity there. This is because they don't allow outside males to enter since that would drastically lower their chances of attracting any women who arrive at the party.

Unfortunately, because of this rule, the gorgeous women that do arrive at the party are stuck conversing with aggressive boys.

To make matters worse, let me emphasize just how pretty these women are. Most of them spent quite a while getting ready to have a night out, and expect a man to acknowledge that.

There's nothing wrong with this, except for the fact that all the guys there see all these gorgeous women as pickings... on a chicken farm. Basically, it's a free-for-all, so none of them are required to act like a gentleman.

The boys here also have some great tactics to succeed in convincing women that they're worth the time of day.

First, they turn the lights off completely. Making it nearly impossible to decipher who is who.

Then, they turn the music up to a ridiculous volume, making it impossible to hear one another. Which helps when they suck at making conversation.

Lastly, they roofie you. I'm not joking, I've had multiple friends experience this.

As a disclaimer, do not accept any drink they offer you. They probably taste terrible anyway.

Overall, my experience with frat parties is never one I look back on fondly. Every time I leave one I'm just a little more disgusted with humankind.

Now if you do take anything from this article, take this:

There are plenty of other ways to party and have a good time in college, don't rely on frat parties to be your source, you'll be disappointed.

Also, not all frat members are bad people, I'm sure these guys can be pleasant on a day to day basis. I'm specifically talking about their behavior at these parties, it's horrifying.

Hopefully, this helps as you tackle the ins and outs of college, but sometimes you just have to see it for yourself to believe it.

Just keep this article in mind when you do.

Cover Image Credit: harrisonwilson / Flickr

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