When you take a parent to a fraternity party two things happen: People try to give the parent excessive amounts of alcohol, and the parent consumes excessive amounts of alcohol.
1.“Where can I get a beer other than Natty Light?"
I think my mother, along with any other parent, does not want to go back to cheap beer after drinking Stella Artois almost every night.
2.“My feet hurt."
That pretty much sums up how any girl in wedges feels after 10 minutes at a frat.
3.“If I was still young, I would date that cute boy over there!"
Well, sorry to tell you mom, but you're pushing 50, with a husband, four kids, and I'm not sure that cute boy is interested in you.
4. *To cute frat boys* “Have you met my daughter, she's single and is looking for a cute boyfriend. She's very smart and will make a living for herself."
Of course, your parent has to embarrass you at least a little when you take them out, but my mom sounded like she was trying to marry me off.
5. “Can I do that beer chug thing everyone is doing?"
It's called shotgunning, mom. You want to shotgun? How about... no.
6. “Can I slap the bag?"
Originally, my mom thought this was a good idea... until she watched the bag be passed around from person to person. She decided against it and then whispered to me...
7. “That bag definitely has herpes now."
The odds of her being correct were high, so with that, the wine bag was out. That means back to a scavenger hunt for beer.
8. “My feet still hurt."
Really mom? Still complaining? Don't you have practice walking in high shoes? Deal with it.
9. “I can't believe that girl is wearing that low shirt. She looks like a prostitute."
Little do parents know, their little angels dress half-naked to most parties.
10. "Can we please go home now?"
As the clocks hit midnight its signals bedtime for my poor mom, even though most parents don't make it past eleven.
Sorry, mom for embarrassing you with this, but it was just too fun! To any parents who haven't attended a frat party, you should truly go.