The bathroom. The commode. The palace throne. The toilet. Whatever you call it, it's the place to be when you need a release (in more ways than one... or two). Because it's a place most of us visit on the regular (or irregular), we often spend our time doing more than dropping the kids off at the pool. In fact, sometimes it gets a bit weird, but that's life! Here are a few things that define our time in the oval office:
1. Potty Shyness
You chose the perfect time to use the public restroom, and you've sat yourself down to make a cake, when suddenly you hear the bathroom door open. You don't move, you stop breathing, and sometimes you even lift your legs. It's like you're stuck in a horror movie, and the killer is right next to you... also taking a poo!
2. Selfie Time!
Why is the lighting always so perfect in bathrooms? You make have just taken the brownies out of the oven, but now you can show your friends that you look two pounds lighter!
3. Social Media Frenzy
What better time to check all of your social media than on the porcelain bowl? Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, CNN, and maybe even Netflix. You'll leave when you're done.
4. Check Yourself Out!
Do these pants make my butt look big? I sure hope so! Sometimes you go into the bathroom just to get a good look at yourself.
5. Time to Read
Aside from checking your emails, sometimes you like to finish that chapter you've been stuck on. Or maybe the whole book. Or the series. I might as well just move my bookshelf in here with me.
6. Check Your Poop
Everybody does it, and that's okay! Why wouldn't you want to know if your insides are working properly? And, is that corn? I haven't eaten corn in two weeks!
7. Nap Time
Busy day? Feeling a bit worn out? Take a nap in your favorite bathroom, and just tell your coworkers you're having stomach troubles. Who has to know? Except when they come looking for you because you've been gone for four hours.
8. Dance Break
Have you ever tried twerking in the bathroom? I know I have, and I can tell you that I cannot. But no one has to know that when you're in the bathroom dancing to your favorite tunes. Well, I guess everyone knows now, but that's beside the point.
9. Have a Quick Cry
You don't always go into the bathroom to have a good time. In fact, you probably go in there to release the waterworks, and no I'm not talking about those waterworks. Well, I could be talking about those waterworks, but also tears. We all have bad days.
10. Hairdos and Hairdont's
I've spent more hours in front of my mirror making crazy hairdos than I'd like to admit. Sometimes it's just fun to see what your hair can do, or what it can't do. What else am I going to use this hairsrpay for?
Whatever it is that you do in the bathroom, rest assured that other people probably do the same thing elsewhere in the world. You're not alone! So, put your hair in a mohawk, dance like no one's watching, and check your poo to see if it looks healthy! And live!
