I'm a firm believer that before you can commit to someone else, you need to commit to yourself. You need to make a commitment to your happiness, passions, beliefs, health, and dreams because that's everything that comprises of who you are. Don't get me wrong, the unification of marriage is a beautiful and scared moment in every person's life. When you find your soulmate, he will bring compliment your personality and behavior, which, as a result, will make you a better person! However, throughout a marriage, you begin to loose your individuality and personal space, which can create a huge disconnect within yourself. During my fiancé and I's marriage counseling sessions, our marriage counselor made a significant point that resonated with me, "When couples do the unity candle during a ceremony, they often blow out their own candles rather than keeping them lit, which is an unfortunate mistake. The unification of marriage isn't just the bond between a husband and a wife, but keeping your individuality within a marriage because God created each and every person special within his eyes." Before you head down the aisle, take a little time and mark these 10 tasks off your bucket list. Whether you accomplish one or all, you'll become a better person and future wife!
1. Fall in love with yourself.
You need to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and learn to love yourself. You need to embrace your quirky personality, your vivacious curves, your personal beliefs, and your intelligent mind. Essentially, at the end of the day, you were created in God's image and he loves his original masterpieces.
2. Find your friendship soulmates.
Let's be honest, we are prideful human beings who believe we can do everything ourselves. However, sometimes we need a true friend who is honest, trustworthy, respectful, and accepting of who you are. The time you realize that you have a true friend is when you are facing a difficult moment in your life, because in that moment the first person that comes to give you a hand and asks you to put the weight on him there, there is a true friend.
3. Live on your own.
The initial thought of living on your own can be a mixture of emotions that leaves you feeling intimidated yet equally excited of the new opportunity. Yes, living on your own can be a difficult process for some people because you're exiting your "comfort zone." However, in that moment of vulnerability, you not only become a more independent person, but you learn more about yourself than ever before.
4. Travel to a foreign country by yourself.
When you travel to a foreign country, you become deeply immersed into the ethnic culture and see new wonders of the world. You increase your level of self-confidence while challenging your insecurities and overcoming your fears. Also, you begin to experience the true solitary of freedom, peace, tranquility, and flexibility that you can carry on into your life.
5. Fall in and out of love.
When you're young, society condemns individuals for falling in and out of love. For example, Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber are headline new stories for their "new" relationship, but which individual does society embed negative conniptions toward? Listen, its OK for young women to fall in and out of love because we are all human beings in desperate need of an emotional connection. However, as we search for our soulmate or "Mr. Right," we need to embrace love in the purest form: to love deeply, fully, and selflessly.
6. Remember, you're enough!
When we think we're not good enough, we meticulously search of evidence that supports our notion of "why we don't deserve to be loved" or "I'm a failure because I'm not living up to my true potential." Unintentionally, we become our worst critic and in the process we shred our self-esteem, which desperately needs to stop. In the midst of societal pressures, we tend to forget all the wonderful, unique attributions of ourselves when we should learn to practice self-love.
7. Find a career that you're passionate about.
Whether you're a journalist, nurse, or elementary school teacher, find a career and/or degree that fulfills your passion. A wise person once told me, "When you find a career that you truly love, it doesn't feel like you're going to work. When you discover that outlet that allows you to infiltrate you passion and dedication, it will make your life more fulfilling.
8. Work towards your financial independence.
According to financial advertisers, when your assets generate enough income to cover your expenses then you've achieved financial independence. Some people achieve this through saving and investing over many years, which is simple process if you follow some of these guidelines such as avoiding consumer debt, spending less than you earn, and investing in the stock markets.
9. Face your biggest fears.
When you face your biggest fears, you can reach your full potential! Let's be honest, fear is an illogical waste of your time and energy. The amount of time and energy you spend whirling around in fear, you're cultivating a seed that limits you to experience the joys of life.