If you are or ever have been a server, you understand the joy and agony a server goes through every shift. Some days are great when you receive more than 20 percent for a tip, or when all of your tables are extremely pleasurable, the days when everyone’s food was cooked perfectly and you were cut off the floor on time. However, there are days when you want to find another job. You want to a find a job that doesn’t involve human contact because you are convinced everyone in the world is a jerk. Whether you work at a small mom and pop café or a worldwide-known chain restaurant, you will understand these 10 things every server knows.
1. When a table gets sat in your section with two adults and six children
I love children, but children are the messiest creatures to walk the Earth. They like to throw their food on the ground and spill their drinks. They like to cry, spit up, throw up, pee and poop all over the booths. Not only do they leave your floors looking like a tornado came through, kids meals are extremely cheap. Your party of eight's check is nowhere near the price it should be, leaving you left with an extremely wimpy tip.
2. TGIF
When your friends with a Monday - Friday 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. job talk about how excited they are that it is the weekend, the weekend is the busiest time for restaurants, and you can't wait for Sunday. You often miss out on going out with your friends on a Friday night, or miss the Sunday afternoon football game because you are stuck at work. Not only do you work weekends, you work holidays. "Do you want to have a cookout on the Fourth of July?" "Can't, I am working." "Do you want to help cook Easter brunch?" "Sorry, got to work." "Are you going downtown with us for New Year's Eve?" "Nope, got to be at work early."
3. Verbal tips
These are the tables who compliment you the entire night. They compliment you on what an awesome server you are and thank you for taking such great care of them. "We will definitely ask to sit in your section again." These are the tables who you think are going to leave you a hefty tip and end up leaving way under 20 percent. Thank you for your kind words, but that isn't going to pay this months rent.
4. The handwriting in your server pad only you can decode
It is always awful when you go to the back to put your table's food in, and you can't read your own handwriting. Sometimes you write too fast and too sloppy, you can't even read it. This is usually where you guess if they asked for extra pickles or no pickles. Another thing you have mastered is shortening menu items to increase your writing efficiency. You know how to decode "FF" as french fries and "CP" as cheese pizza, and you have created your own language when taking orders.
5. "Are you ready to order?"
The infamous question, "Are you ready to order?" Some tables know exactly what burger, type of cheese, side dish and the exact condiments they want on their burger without you even asking. You have a few tables every shift that say yes, but mean no. These are the tables that make you list every vegetable for their side, all the different potato choices and ask you to repeat it once you are done. "I can come back in a minute when you decide" "No, we are ready! Oh my sandwich comes with a side, what are your sides again?"
6. Parties of more than 10 that all order water
Believe it or not, drinks are a significant amount of the bill. When the entire party orders water, your sales decrease. Parties who usually all order water intentionally order water to save money. When you know a table is stingy with their cash, you are not getting a well deserving tip.
7. When your table criticizes you for their food being made wrong
I don't know if people know this or not, but servers do not cook the food. I know I do a lot of tasks in this restaurant, but cooking is not in my job description. I often take the blame for the steak being a little too pink or the fries not being crispy. Even though I try everything to correct your meal, I somehow am still the bad guy.
8. Thinking you are the first cut but finding out you are closing
You drive to work all excited because tonight you are the first cut. You get cut right after the big dinner rush, leaving you all night to do whatever you want to do. You come into work and find out the closer has the flu, and now you are closing. This is like waking up on Christmas morning and finding out all you got was a new pair of socks.
9. Carrying all of your dollar bills
The best and worst part of serving. You're feeling like a baller after your shift with that fat stack of cash. When you go the bank the next day, you're feeling slightly judged by the banker who probably assumes you just got off the night shift at Diamonds strip club, when in reality, you just served all weekend.
10. When you have a table come in at 10:45 and you close at 11
You are vacuuming and rolling your silverware, and the entire restaurant is empty. You hear the door bell go off and cross your fingers it is anything but a table. You kindly inform them you are closed in 15 minutes, but they insist they will eat fast. They usually don't end up ordering right away, and you are stuck at work way past your end time.
