10 Survival Tips for Batman
Start writing a post
Entertainment

10 Survival Tips for Batman

Batman might make less mistakes if he followed these rules

53
10 Survival Tips for Batman
Pexels.com

1. Romantic partners are a bad idea. They invariably either die in horrific ways or turn out to be working for your arch nemesis.

2. Discreetly hire a quality fashion designer who won’t talk about their work. Get the designer’s input on your costume, or risk going out in public wearing rubber nipples. Or worse.

3. Fit your mask with a gadget that will modulate your voice. Your alternative is to snarl and gargle whenever you talk on duty, and this typically ruins the “imposing caped avenger” image. Old ladies will offer you throat lozenges when you’re trying to rescue them from burning buildings.

4. Keep track of your money and quietly move all of it to offshore accounts. This keeps you fiscally safe when someone tries to steal your company or the board decides a licentious playboy doesn’t need THAT much allowance.

5. Make a list of contractors who do specialized work without telling anyone. Eventually, you’ll want to have a hi-tech lair (or need to rebuild on after a skirmish) and you can’t magically do all the work yourself. Tech experts who are mute or owe you their lives are your best bet.

6. If you finally confront someone you’ve been tracking for weeks and they go into a long speech, this means they are getting ready to unleash something dangerous. However, they won’t do so until they finish talking. So ruin the moment. Interrupt them repeatedly or knock them out before they finish their first sentence.

7. Even if it’s not designed as a weapon, every device your company builds must have a “deactivate and melt down” option only you know about. Make sure it works remotely.

8. Before you confront the aforementioned foe, assume they have at least one trick up their sleeve that you don’t know about. Prepare accordingly.

9. If you have a domestic servant who’s raised you from childhood, has more life experience than you do, and who helps you on your missions, listen to his advice occasionally. He probably knows what he’s talking about.

10. However, no matter what your domestic servant says, do not trust your secret identity to whichever woman you’re currently having a fling* with.

*In this context, a “fling” can be defined as any relationship that lasts shorter than 2 movies.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

63179
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

41395
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

961973
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

212563
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments