It is human nature to be curious about what other people experience when they are different from you. Lots of minority groups know all too well what it is like to have people ask you a million personal questions. This is especially true for gay people. We are not a source of answers to all of your deep questions about "the gays." That's why Google exists, people! Here 10 things you need to stop saying to gay people.
1. "So who is the man in the relationship?"
Don't project gender roles onto same-sex couples just to make you feel more comfortable and to make homosexuality more relatable to your heterosexual relationship. That is the bliss of being part of a same-sex couple--there are no gender roles.
2. "OMG, I've always wanted a GBF!"
I'm more than just a "Gay Best Friend." I am not an object for you to win. Please don't devalue me as a person. Let me be your best friend that just happens to be gay. The idea of a GBF is rooted in the myth that all people who are gay are flamboyant...which brings me to #3.
3. "You don't seem gay."
Anybody can be gay, regardless of how masculine, feminine or flamboyant they behave. Being gay is about attraction. I am gay because I am attracted to the same sex. It has nothing to do with personality.
4. "Why are all the good ones gay?"
Stop being dramatic and go find yourself a nice heterosexual man.
5. "OMG you should meet my other friend who is gay. You guys would be so cute together!"
About 90% of the time the only thing that we will have in common is our sexuality, so no, I don't want to go on a date with the only other gay person you know. Don't try to set me up with every gay guy you meet.
6. "So how does gay sex work? Like how do you know who is going to be the girl and who is going to be the boy?"
If you are honestly curious, use the Internet. I am not about to have this conversation.
7. "Maybe they are just going through a phase."
Sexuality is confusing, it can change over time or with different people. Just let people love who they love without making them put a label on it.
8. "When did you choose to be gay?"
...I'm not sure. When did you choose to be straight?
9. "Ugh I wish I could be gay. Boys are so confusing."
Wait, let me get this straight (pun intended). You wish that your love could be seen as lesser and unnatural? Do you really want people to change their opinions of you and treat you differently when they find out that you are gay? Do you really want to be oppressed? Being gay isn't as glamorous as it may seem. Just imagine going anywhere with your significant other and feeling judgmental stares pierce your back just for showing any public display of affection.
10. "I don't think of you as a man."
My sexuality has nothing to do with my gender identity. Just because I like men does not mean I am a woman or that I am any lesser of a man.
