I don't mean to drop a bomb on your beginning of semester fun, but the start of the school year means the start of exams! If you are anything like I am, you will recognize all of the stages of cramming for exams because you probably experience them on a weekly basis. So start getting mentally prepared for the exhausting ordeal known as (dun dun dunnnn) cramming!
1. Denial
Yeah, I might only have six hours to study for an exam on my entire 3,000-pound textbook, but I've got this! I just have to cover 500 pages an hour, totally doable!
2. Overconfidence
I have so much time. Enough time, in fact, to review the chapters I know and take good notes. Oh my god, it's been a whole hour, and I've covered three pages?!
3. Rushed but, still totally ~chill~
OK ... OK ... Not time to freak out yet but, do I really need to be taking notes and reading at the same time? Do I really even need to be reading the whole chapter? No no, definitely not just read the overview.
4. Back To Square One
So ... you're telling me I did all that skim reading for nothing? I don't remember a single thing I read. I was too busy counting down the hours I have left to study.
5. Bargaining
OK ... Calm down ... I'm still fine! I have two hours left, but that's only if I sleep at 12, I can have fou hours if I go to bed at 2 a.m. Ooh! I can add two more hours if I wake up at 6 a.m. before the test! Sleep is for the weak anyway right? Ha ha ha ... *Nervous laugh.*
6. Suddenly Becoming A Speed Reader
I have to make up for the failed first attempt ... and fast.
7. Failing Test Questions
Ok! YES! I finished my reading. Now practice test questions ... I got this!
*Looks at test.* None of this was in my textbook. *Screams internally and very externally.*
8. Complete Mental Breakdown.
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ON THIS TEST? WHY DIDN'T I PAY MORE ATTENTION IN CLASS? EVERYONE ELSE COULD STAY AWAKE! OH MY GOD, I'M GOING TO FAIL! I'M GOING TO DROP OUT OF COLLEGE AND HAVE TO WORK AT A GAS STATION UNTIL I AM 80! MY PARENTS AREN'T PAYING THIS MUCH MONEY FOR ME TO WORK AT A GAS STATION UNTIL I AM 80. *Dramatically faints.*
9. Re-focus
Calm down, calm down, calm down. This is not productive. I'm just wasting more time. I just need to figure out what I already know, and what I don't know. Then, I will only work on the subjects I don't know.
10. Study Machine.
I'm on a roll. I'm a knowledge-absorbing sponge. Nothing can take my mind off the subject. Somehow, I've ended up covering all the information in two hours. Go me! Now, I just have to pray that I retained something, anything.
Congratulations, you've made it though the mental (and sometimes physical) torture period known as cramming. You swear this whirlwind won't happen again, that you're going to buckle down and really pay attention in class and do your readings every night to avoid cramming. That resolution will last two days. You'll probably realize this next week when you're doing this same routine all over again. Welp ... best of luck to you!
