I must admit, I am no stranger to all-nighters. In the past two semesters, I have successfully (or as successful as an all-nighter can be) completed around a dozen all-nighters. I guess you could say that I am a pro at staying awake all-night and being a (somewhat) functioning human being the next day.
I've noticed there are a few different stages that come with pulling an all-nighter, and what better way to explain them than with the help of every college student's favorite friend, Michael Scott!
Stage 1: The Decision
The first stage of pulling an all-nighter is actually deciding to pull an all-nighter (big shock there). There is usually a reason that I need to pull an all-nighter, whether that be a paper that is due the next day, endless amounts of reading that I need to complete, or a big test that I need to cram for. Regardless, I have to convince myself to undertake the daunting task that is going all night without any sleep. It takes courage. It takes guts. And I usually try to talk myself out of it.
Stage 2: The Optimistic Hours
Stage two brings us to what I call The Optimistic Hours, or sometimes just The Early Hours. This is usually the hours of about 6-9 p.m., where you think to yourself that you're going to get so much done tonight. You also think that you have no choice but to get stuff done because you have a deadline in a few hours.
Stage 3: Prime Distraction Time
Around 10 p.m. we enter stage three, which brings us in contact with every distraction known to mankind. Tumblr, Facebook, Netflix, cat videos...all of these things drag us away from pretending to do our homework.
Stage 4: The Stage of Confusion
If you manage to charter the murky waters of stage three, you will make it to stage four: confusion. This usually happens at around 12 a.m., when your brain is just lost. You've somehow drifted back to your work and you just have no idea what you're doing.
Stage 5: The Energy Stage (a.k.a. Over-caffination)
Around 1 a.m. you have hit your second wind due to the enormous amount of caffeine that you have ingested over the last few hours. This stage, unfortunately, does not actually help you with your homework. Instead, you're just full of energy and want to do everything but your homework.
Stage 6: The Sleepy Stage
3 a.m. brings the Sleepy Stage. Your caffeine has worn off and you find yourself drifting in and out of sleep, yet you force yourself to continue working (or staring blankly at a computer screen, which is what tends to happen with me).
Stage 7: The Stage of Denial
You awake from one of your micro-naps and glance at your phone, only to find that it is now 5 a.m. This stage is the stage of Denial, because you can't believe that you have somehow managed to waste so much time.
Stage 8: The Stage of Panic
Shortly after stage seven, we enter stage eight at around 5:30 a.m. You have realized at this point that you desperately need to finish whatever has been keeping you up until this point, and you begin to panic because you are running out of time and your deadline is at 9 a.m.
Stage 9: Productive Time
As you enter the final hours of your night and pass through the stage of panic, you enter the stage of productive time. Sure, your work isn't award-winning, but you're getting it done because at this point, you have around two hours to finish this assignment.
Stage 10: The End
The final stage of your all-nighter comes when your assignment is submitted, your test has been taken, and your readings read. At this point, you are exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally, and you vow to never do this again (spoiler alert: you will do this again).
