1. I’m so over this superfood, yoga trend; this girl ain’t a sucker. Nope, I am a traditionalist; I like my salads with iceberg lettuce, my bread with gluten, the protein in the form of animal meat, and my workouts on a road.
2. In the name of equality I must put my foot down; it’s not fair that people get away with looking cute in athleisure attire, while I spend my life savings at Anthropologie. I've actively shamed my friends who have succumbed to this fad, but I'm frustratingly intrigued... I’ll just buy this Lulu Lemon headband (a tiny purchase!) so I can test it out...
3. Wow, I’m loving the way this headband accentuates my forehead and brings out my eyes and just makes me an all-around better person. It's amazing what a 6-inch piece of fabric can do for; a week's paycheck well spent! I guess it doesn’t hurt to get one pair of leggings....
4. *Buys 14 pairs of leggings and tank tops* So sue me for pursing comfort! I didn’t intentionally buy this “Namaste in Bed” shirt, but it was 50 percent off and was such a bargain that I’d be losing money if I didn’t have it in 5 different sizes!!!....
5. After reading “Shape” magazine, I was shocked and appalled to find out that running is actually terrible for your body! Out of reverence for myself, I should really do something lower impact…and this yoga studio has a killer first-timer discount. I’ll only stay here for the free week...
6. Whoops, I had no idea that I signed up for the “Super Platinum Triple Plus” membership that gives me free access to a steam room and sauna....
7. People were right, Zen is a place at Whole Foods. The second I walk through the doors I suddenly realize that money is no longer of consequence in my life and I happily spend $4950494 dollars on non-GMO granola and organic peanut butter. .
8. Kombucha is a life saver; water is the new Coca-Cola. At first sip there's a slight gag sensation provoked by flavors that could be likened to fermented pit-sweat, but you just have to give it time. Eventually, your taste buds will become numb to unpleasant flavors, and I’ve learned that you can trick yourself into thinking you like something if someone tells you it's healthy!
9. I would never judge anyone who eats fast food. Just because I think it’s destroying the rainforests, poisoning our children, and killing the polar bears doesn’t mean I think people who eat McDonalds are heathens. But it is something to think about… .
10. You buy spinach?! Did you know that spinach isn’t even that good for you? I’d really compare to something more like a Twinkie if you want to get down to the science, so let me tell you about KALE…
Dear Kale,
You are more than just a word; you are a lifestyle! It has been amazing to watch you redefine healthy eating (if the yogurt ain't "greek", it's garbage), and physical fitness (these days we can sit in a hot room for 60 minutes and call it a workout). Three cheers to Kale; the only vegetable that can cause you so do some serious soul searching and reinvent yourself!
So thank you
