The Mall of America is a daunting place with more than 520 stores, a theme park, and an aquarium occupying 4.87 million square feet. For an indecisive person, entering the gigantic shopping center is downright terrifying.
I am an indecisive person. (I forced myself to apply Early Decision to Vanderbilt just so I wouldn't, and couldn't, change my mind…and, well, I really loved the school and all.) I can personally attest that the problem is only amplified when I enter any shopping center, let alone Minnesota's and -- until Miami takes away the North Star State's claim to fame -- the United States' largest mall.
If you are indecisive, you understand my plight. But for those of you that are quick to pick, it's difficult to understand what's going through our minds when we take hours to purchase just one shirt. In an *attempt* to comprehend the crazy, here's some insight into the stages of shopping as an indecisive person.
1. Pick a store.
Even with limited options, picking a store can be impossible. Which store will have what I want? What stores do I like? What am I even looking for? Maybe I shouldn't have tried this…
2. Find clothes to try on.
Okay, I finally picked a store. (Well, my friend dragged me into the nearest store.) I still haven't decided what I'm looking for…but I guess this shirt could work. I'll pick it up in blue. Or maybe green? Or orange? Okay, no. Orange is not on my color wheel. But blue and green…I'll just pick them both up. But what size am I?
3. Try on everything at least three times...
Hi, yes I have 15 garments. Okay, limit is 6? Um…here just take these I guess…no wait...these. All right, I have a small, medium, and large in the same shirt. One of these is going to fit. Okay, they all fit. Maybe I should try them all on at least one more time…
4. …and nothing works.
Well, I look like a sack of potatoes. In everything. Potato sack, meet return pile.
5. Regret the decision and dig through the pile.
But maybe potato sacks are in? I could work the farmer chic look. I better dig it out of the return pile.
6. Revisit the dressing room.
I can totally…not work the farmer look. What am I doing? Why did I grab this again? This is a waste of my time. I better get this back on a hanger, and do it quickly.
7. Defeat. Complete and utter defeat.
I'm done. I give up. This store has nothing, absolutely nothing. I'm going to get a Cinnabon…or a smoothie…or a pretzel. Whatever, I'll do anything to get out of this store.
8. Wait…
I didn't see that dress before. It's cute. It's my size. This might work! Okay, I better grab a couple different colors, just in case.
9. Repeat stages 2-7
Will I ever learn? Apparently not.
10. Leave empty handed
Are a t-shirt and shorts acceptable for a wedding? Do I really need a swimsuit when I can wear a burka to the beach? Why spend money on clothes when I can spend them on food…of course, I still haven't decided what food I want. Maybe that's a decision for another day.
