1. Weird Tan Lines
Having to sit in the sun all day, tans are inevitable. However, due to wearing swimsuits, sunglasses, and awkward glares, our bodies tan unevenly. If you have a weird heart shaped tan on your back? You're probably a lifeguard. If you look like a raccoon morphed into a sunscreen smelling human? You're probably a lifeguard who's eyes never part from sunglasses.
2. Rain
For most people, seeing rain on a summer day is depressing. It halts all the outdoor activities, and keeps us cooped up inside. However, for you, rain is a sign from above. It is the second most celebrated act of nature. The first? Thunder.
3. Bodily Fluids
At first sight you are disgusted, but then you become excited as you realize you now get a nice break. Then, the excitement vanishes as you have to clean up the mess, to which you will complain about for the rest of your shift to your co-worker, who shares in your disgust!
4. Yelling
Just driving by a person running you are tempted to yell,“Walking!!!” Conditioned like Pavlov's dogs, you have to fight the urge to tell people to stop running. You have to remind yourself that you aren't at work anymore.
5. Friends
Every time you go out on water, your friends tell their parents not to worry, you are a lifeguard and you can save them if something goes wrong.
6. Sunscreen
No matter where you go, you put on sunscreen. You do it so much so, that all your friends notice, and point out the fact that it is cloudy. You respond with, “I have gotten burned when I was lifeguarding on a cloudy day.” You then go into a spiel about how your job is to sit in the sun and you can't afford to get sunburns.
7.Getting Wet
Even though you got a job at a pool, which is a large holding tank for water, you refuse to get wet, unless you have to save someone. Never wanting to get in the pool, you cringe when people splash you, and debate for hours on a hot day, whether or not to get in for a minute to cool off.
8. Obstacle Courses
Lifeguards have to stay in good shape, and swimming regularly is a must. However, swimming is much too boring for you. Instead, bringing out the competitive nature in your co-workers, you create an obstacle course to prove who is the fastest lifeguard. Any time the pool is empty, you go for the record.
9. Free Time
When the weather is bad, it is dinner time, or it is just a down day, you get a break. The pool is clear, and you need to find a way to pass the time. Your car is filled with board games, cards, books, and movies, just in case.
10. Lifeguard Shirts
You feel like you just completed Insanity, and you earned your t-shirt. Therefore, whenever you see a person wearing a lifeguard shirt, that you know isn't a lifeguard, you become irritated. You want to go over and ask them to complete a round of CPR, or perform an active rescue. And when they can't do it, you want to take back the shirt, bringing power back to the lifeguard kingdom.
