Not all people suck, but a lot of them do. Pizza, however, never sucks. Pizza is the best. If you don’t agree, I don’t trust you.
1. Pizza is always there for you
Whether you’re looking for a late night snack, or for breakfast, pizza is there for you nearly any time of day. Pizza is there for you when you want a fancy dinner and some wine. Pizza is there for you when you’ve had a really rough day and you need some comfort food. Pizza is literally always there for you which is more than you can say about a lot of people.
2. Pizza never judges you.
Pizza never judges you for eating a whole large size pizza for lunch. Pizza never judges you when it’s the third time in four days you’ve had a slice of ‘za for a meal. Pizza never judges you for those late night drunken rendezvous the two of you have shared. People judge you.
3. Pizza never disappoints you.
Even if the pizza you are eating is subpar, it’s still good. Even frozen pizza is good. No matter how high your expectations are for how good the pizza you’re about to inhale is going to taste, pizza never seems to let you down. Pizza lives up to the hype unlike people.
4. Pizza isn’t afraid of change.
Whether you’re changing your pizza joint of choice, or just the toppings, pizza can role with it. Pizza laughs in the face of change, in fact, pizza likes it. Pizza doesn’t freak out when you get a haircut or when you move in together.
5. Pizza is never boring.
Because pizza can change it up like a pro, it keeps you on your toes. If you’re getting sick of plain old pepperoni, pizza will throw you a curve ball and show you how delicious buffalo chicken can be. Pizza isn’t monotonous like people can be.
6. Pizza fills you up.
Have you ever hung out with someone and just felt empty after or like something was missing? That doesn’t happen with pizza. Pizza literally leaves you full to the brim after every encounter.
7. Pizza has your back.
Pizza doesn’t make plans and ditch you. Pizza is also there if you do get ditched. Need to look good and impress someone? Get a fancy flatbread. In any given situation, pizza will have your back. People usually don’t.
8. Pizza doesn’t get jealous.
If you need a break from pizza and you decide to branch out and eat a salad instead, pizza doesn’t care. Pizza understands. Pizza is also waiting right there for when you decide to come back to good ole’ faithful.
9. Pizza helps you out.
When you’re hungry and you don’t feel like cooking, pizza is right there to lend a helping hand. No questions asked.
10. Pizza never asks for anything in return.
For all of the joy pizza has brought you, for everything pizza has done for you, it never expects anything in return. Pizza is selfless. People are not.
Now go eat some pizza.
